Page 13 of Burden to Bear

Despite the overwhelming confidence I had about how wonderful this was going to be, I was undeniably nervous.

I thought that was fair, though. Reasonable.

I’d never done this before, so it was only natural to wonder—and worry a bit—just how it would go.

Todd had just pulled up outside to pick me up and take me to dinner at his family’s house, and I was eagerly waiting inside the front door.

He got out of the car, walked up to the door, and smiled as he stepped inside. “Hey, babe.” I got a quick kiss before he asked, “Are you ready to go?”

Nodding, I answered, “Yes, but I have a surprise. Can I give you one of your gifts now, before we leave?”

“I thought we were going to do them together later tonight,” he returned.

“We are. That’s the plan. I just have this one that I don’t want to wait to give you,” I explained.

He shrugged, laughed, and said, “Okay. Should I pick out one of yours from the car now, so you can open one as well, or do you want to wait?”

I shook my head and took him by the hand to lead him into the living room, where the tree we’d decorated together was standing with presents for him and my family piled beneath it. “I’ll wait until later. This one is a bit special.”

“I’m a little nervous.”

“Don’t be. It’s good. Grab a seat, and I’ll get the gift.”

Todd didn’t waste any time. He sat on the couch, and I moved to the tree to grab the present. I carried the box over and held it out to him. Once he took it from me, I shifted back and forth nervously on my feet. Todd had started to tear the wrapping paper off, but he quickly noticed how I was reacting. “Are you sure I shouldn’t be nervous? You seem to be on edge.”

I swallowed hard, shaking my head once more, and sat down beside him. “I’m fine. Just open it.”

Carefully, cautiously, Todd tore the paper off the gift and revealed the white square box beneath it. He gave me one last look before he pulled off the lid. And a moment later, he pushed back the tissue paper to reveal the surprise.

For several long moments, Todd merely stared at what was inside the box. He didn’t react; he didn’t speak. He simply kept his eyes focused on what was there, never moving a muscle. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought he’d stopped breathing.

Shock.

He was certainly feeling shocked.

I had been the same initially, so I gave him some time to take it in.

Eventually, finally, he lifted his gaze to mine and asked, “What is this?”

“Do you know what it is?” I countered, my belly trembling.

“This looks like an outfit for a baby,” he noted. “And that’s definitely a positive pregnancy test.”

I nodded, tears filling my eyes, and smiled at him.

“Are you pregnant?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

He lowered his hand holding the lid of the box and jerked his head back slightly as he now took to staring at me. Once again, he gave no indication as to what was going through his mind. I had no idea what he was thinking.

Maybe he needed to hear what I was thinking to feel some reassurance. I’d had some time to come to terms with it. I’d had a few days to allow the news to digest. I could ease whatever concerns he had.

“I thought I was feeling so tired from the move,” I started. “Jamie was telling me at work about how her cousin was exhausted for two months after she and her husband moved into their new home not quite a year ago. I assumed I was going through the same thing. But when I was at work on Friday, one of the other girls got her period, and that’s when it hit me. I realized it had been more weeks than it should have been since I got my last period, and everything started to fall into place. I don’t quite know how it happened, because we’ve been using protection, but something went wrong somewhere with that.”

Todd continued to stare at me, his expression unreadable.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

---