Page 51 of Nothing Without You

Nausea rose in her throat and her entire life flashed before her. The night the phone had rung. Her father’s revelation. Her mother’s confession. The feeling that she had been kicked in the gut. Her broken heart. Leaving Chris. Years of an unhappy home life. With Bob.

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Along balcony that stretched along one side of the building was a quiet place to retreat to. Evie stood there, absorbing the city sights as she indulged in a cigarette. Waves of regret swept over her, and tears welled in her eyes as the melodic strains of Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline floated out from inside. Cheers and boisterous laughter emanated from the dance floor, signalling the guests were enjoying themselves. But amongst all the happiness, she felt so sad and very much alone.

The city buildings rose in front of her, each office block lit with a thousand flickering lights, the headlights of the cars and other vehicles that drove along the streets below, a pretty scene in the darkness of the night.

It would be easy to slip away unnoticed and return to the solitude of her motel room. But her mother would wonder where she was, and besides, she didn’t really want to leave. When she walked away from Chris, she could feel his eyes still on her. Her stomach lurched. All those years ago, she had been so sure that what she heard from under her mother’s bed was true. How was she supposed to know they were only mucking around, wrestling?

Inhaling deeply, she noticed Rose coming out to join her. They stood together, and Rose put her arm around Evie’s shoulder. ‘You know, Evie. I live not that far from you. If you ever need anyone or a place to stay, here’s my phone number and address.’ She slipped a piece of paper into her hand. ‘Lily thinks you need help. She said she could see it in your eyes.’

Evie tried to put on a brave face as Rose led her back inside and onto the floor for a dance. ‘Lily’s so lovely, but I’m fine. Thanks for your number. I’ll hang onto it and if I’m ever in Gladstone, I’ll give you a ring.’

When she was finally able to escape the dancing, she went back out onto the balcony. She pushed the piece of paper with the phone number into the bottom of her bag. As much as she would love to see Rose again, visiting people, especially in other towns, wasn’t something she was going to be able to do. Bob. His domineering control hit her like a truck. She had totally lost her independence. When had that happened? She thought hard. Right from the start. She had been young and stupid, looking for an out from her crumbling home life. Like a train hurtling down the tracks, she had taken the wrong turn and derailed. Not a brain in my head, she thought, standing up straight as she realised someone was standing behind her.

Chris had found her and she turned to look straight into his eyes. She missed the mischievous glint they once had, but she thought how blue and honest they were. Kind. Caring. Chris.

Lighting another cigarette, she turned away from him and rested her elbows on the railing as she peered out across the city. ‘Rose said you’ve got a good business making boards. That’s cool. It’s so good you’re doing something you love.’

He also lit a cigarette and stood with his back to the view, leaning back on the railings, staring at her. ‘It’s a good business. I get to travel and meet some pretty interesting people,’ he said.

She wasn’t sure what to say. He had already seen where she worked and lived.

‘You married to that fella in the bait shop?’ he asked.

‘No.’

‘But he’s your boyfriend?’

She flicked the ash over the edge of the railing, watching a couple of sparks spiral downwards before fading out. It was much like her life’s trajectory, she thought—just a fading spark in the darkness. ‘Yes, I guess you could say he’s my boyfriend. I’ve lived with him since I was seventeen.’

‘That’s a long time. You must be happy together.’

She sensed a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but she wasn’t giving him any reason to pity her. That was the last thing she wanted. ‘Yeah. Really happy.’

He straightened up. ‘I just wanted to check. I guess if you’re happy and settled, there’s no use continuing with this conversation. Otherwise, I might have asked you out, just for old times’ sake.’

Her chest constricted with an ache, prompting her to draw in a deep breath. She was determined to keep her tears at bay amid the emotional exchange, but when he uttered her name, her legs threatened to buckle beneath her. Clutching the balcony rail, she closed her eyes, his voice resonating low and husky. ‘Evie,’ he murmured. ‘I just want to make sure there’s no chance of, you know, us possibly going out or seeing each other again.’

She only opened her eyes when she felt his hand beneath her chin, gently guiding it upwards. The movement forced her to raise her eyes from where she looked down at the ground.

For a long while their eyes held each other, and her body ached when his fingers gently brushed her cheek. A tear slid down her face and she held her breath, his face close to hers.

Finally, her words came. ‘Bob would not be happy if he knew I was having this conversation. I’m sorry, Chris. I’ve been with him for a long time.’

Chris took a step back, his hands falling to his side. ‘I just thought I’d ask. As long as you’re happy. That’s all that matters.’

Chapter Fifty-Eight

That night, as she lay in her motel bed, she cried. Sobs racked her body and a grief like nothing she had felt before filled her. Her life was a mess, with no escape. There was no way she wanted her mother or father involved in the debacle of her life, and she was terrified if Bob even found out she had been talking to another man, or that she had shared her problems with anyone, he would make her, or them, pay. She had lost count of how many times he had told her it wouldn’t matter where she hid, he would find her and she’d be sorry.

After two nights by herself, it was difficult to return to the confines of the flat and the routine of the shop. She found she was tired all the time, her body aching with exhaustion. Even Bob commented that she hardly spoke. ‘Customers will think you’re stupid. You have to talk to sell things. We need the money. Just as well you work most Sundays at the resort now.’

She was agitated from the heat and feeling so run down, that for once she forgot to bite her tongue and not answer back. ‘Don’t tell me how to run the shop. I’ve been doing it for years.’

Before her sentence was finished, she felt his hand across her face, the loud slap resounding through the shop, which was thankfully empty of customers. Business had been slow due to a competing bait shop opening further up the esplanade. That setback, along with some other problems with his mates, was making Bob more agitated than usual.

For a while they stared at each other, then he turned and stormed out of the shop. Her hand rested on her cheek, the sting and burning sensation nothing compared to the heaviness in her heart.

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