Page 14 of Catastrophe

“When we realized we were soul mates, I never thought about escaping that fate. I never have nor will. Maybe it’s not been the same for you, but to me, if we are destined to walk a path together, I want to do it holding your hand, sharing our power and our lives.”

The anger faded from her body, and she let out a slow, controlled breath before continuing, “Charlie wasn’t essential to my existence until he became my witch, but my life as a cat with him was full of angst and want for him. Zaide wasn’t essential to me either until I realized there was a part of me he filled, a part I didn’t know was empty. You’re right. Bonds don’t have to be. I’ve lived without them. But I’m greedy, and I want them, and I want you.

“It’s not an unreasonable request for you to want to know me better before you commit yourself. I understand that. But God forbid if we are separated, I want to feel our bond and know you’re safe.” Her eyes filled, her lips trembled, and I could not stop myself from pulling her into my arms.

She sat on my knee, both of us still naked as she spoke. “It’s killing me not to know how Zaide and Charlie are right now. I want us all to be powerful enough to overcome the chaos. But most of all, I want you. I want you to be essential to me. I want us. I want our family. Our future. The one I saw with our children. I’ve been so blessed to have bonds with incredible, kind, and beautiful men. I don’t want to reject a gift like that, and I won’t. I’m here offering you everything with me, if you’ll have me,” she finished in a whisper, eyes downcast.

We were both quiet for a moment while her heaving chest and shaking hands calmed and I thought out my reply to her heartfelt declaration so I didn’t completely ruin our interaction again.

“Do not think I have ever once thought of rejecting you, because I have not.” I tipped her head back to meet my gaze and hoped she could see the truth in my eyes. “I admit I haven’t excelled at speaking about this issue, but I … I have never been in a relationship. All of this, even speaking about my feelings, is new.

I’ve spent my years drowning out any wants or needs by focusing entirely on the titan people and their suffering. It’s unusual for someone to ask how I am, even more so for them to care. Even my fathers … Well, we haven’t been close since my mother left. Perhaps that is why I’ve reacted this way. I’ve been a victim of a bond which has fractured. I result from an unusual union. Yes, it was blessed by the Fates, but I haven’t been accepted in either culture.”

“You didn’t expect me to want you?” Her eyes searched mine as she caressed my cheek, and I leaned into her touch.

Simple affectionate touch was almost foreign to me, but from her, it felt both extraordinary and ordinary. Like I’d felt this thousands of times before, but only with her. My soul mate.

I closed my eyes and avoided her gaze and question. “I know Zaide and I have a lot of work to do to ensure our relationship works. I thought we would all wait …”

She interrupted, “But that’s you and Zaide. You’ll work it out, and everything will be fine. But with me and you, well, you can’t get rid of me regardless.”

Opening my eyes, I sighed. “There aren’t individuals here. You and Zaide are one soul. I cannot bond with part of that soul.”

“So, bonding with me means Zaide would also get the bond?” she asked slowly.

I nodded.

“That’s even better!” she exclaimed and bounced off my lap.

“Better?” My brow pulled down, and I frowned as she began pacing in front of me again.

“If Zaide is captured and alone and can’t feel me, he’s going to be scared and powerless. If he can feel the bond with you, maybe it will give him some hope. At the very least, it will reassure him we are together and that you kept your promise.”

But I didn’t keep my promise. I almost killed Clawdia by taking her to heal a natural portal and completely abandoned Charlie.

And yet it was clear from Clawdia’s shining and hopeful violet eyes that she believed our bond would help Zaide when he needed it most.

“You do not think he will be angry about having the choice taken from him?” I asked quietly.

“No. I really don’t,” she replied quickly. Then added, “Zaide is a pious male. He believes in the gods, the Fates, soul pairs, soul mates, and bonds. It’s never been a question for him whether we would all be together. He wants to work through his trauma because it could hurt you. And maybe he’d be upset that he missed our bonding. Maybe he’d want to be a part of it, but I think he’d understand because he needs the bond as much as I do right now.”

I let out a slow, shuddering breath. “You’re sure?”

She approached me like I was a frightened animal, and I held still as she caressed my face and whispered, “I’m sorry your life has been full of people who haven’t accepted you. I’m sorry your first instinct is that you are going to be tossed aside. But I can promise you it will never be the case with us. We all have our own problems, troubles our past has caused, but we all fit so well together, Baelen. We are a band of misfits. Shards of shattered glass from unique items that come together, impossibly, to form something better, unique, beautiful.”

I felt as though I could take a full breath for the first time in years, and in the empty space left behind by my exhale, affection, warmth and the first blossoming of love grew. Her words seemed to heal something inside of me. Something deep that had gone unnoticed.

This female … She is perfect.

She pressed a gentle kiss to my lips and straddled my lap as she wrapped me in her arms and squeezed.

“As for your fathers,” she muttered. “Well, it’s a good job they are immortal, because they have a lot of making up to do to you once we fix everything.”

“You are a dreamer, my sunlight.” I ran my nose over her collar and kissed her neck.

She shuddered and clenched her legs around my hips. Her voice cracked as she replied, “Never say never. I’m quite determined when I need to be.”

“I don’t doubt it.” I huffed a laugh as I gripped her hips and pulled her against my hardening cock.

---