Page 111 of Catastrophe

A destiny that seemed to get more complicated by the second. I don’t want this. I don’t want power. I don’t want the life Nisha has been living. Keeping secrets and seeing the most awful things. I didn’t know if I could handle it.

I stood up and ran a hand through my hair as I paced to rid myself of the frustrated energy buzzing under my skin. “But why is it so important to see these things? I don’t understand why visions or the Fates’ power needs to be preserved.”

“It is tied intrinsically to the balance in the realms. To maintain balance, you need knowledge of the entire history of time. Lives are so short, and so much can be distorted. There has to be a consistent way of preserving all that was, is, and could be.”

“Preserve it for what? Who? You haven’t been offering any words of wisdom to others, have you?” she took it to be the rhetorical question I intended it to be and didn’t respond as I continued to pace and think. I gasped as another thought hit me, “Baelen will be a god?”

“No. Thankfully not.” She assured me. “Only you will take on power. The gods’ gifts will die with them. Until the realms have been saved, you won’t be released from this magic.”

“The realms?” I gasped in horror. “All of them?”

“Balance must be restored.” She told me and when my face remained unchanged, she smiled and enthused. “But just think, you have already restored the shadow realm. I do not believe it will be the enormous task you think it will be.”

“But you’ve spent your whole life trying to fix the realms so you could get rid of this curse.”

She shook her head. “I knew it was possible for the magic to return once the balance has been restored, but I haven’t been attempting to get rid of the curse. I always knew I would die before I saw the resolution. I’ve been focused on ensuring you have the best chance to do it instead. My punishment shouldn’t be yours.”

“I don’t know if I can do this. It’s too much.” I sat down again, my whole body trembling.

“You can. You must. You have no choice.”

“But I don’t want to …” I couldn’t finish, but Nisha understood.

“End up like me.” She sighed, but nodded. “I understand. I wouldn’t have wished for this either and I regret so many things. Seeing outcomes makes one understand the significance of every tiny move. But sometimes that is so overwhelming we stop moving. Stop speaking. We freeze and pray that by doing nothing, regardless of the outcome, we can assure ourselves that we had no effect on it. But even inaction is action, Clawdia. Doing nothing is doing something. You must know how to act. You must think through every possibility and understand yourself enough to predict your reaction.”

I whimpered, my brain feeling fit to burst. “You’re scaring me.”

“I don’t want to scare you, child.” She sighed and stroked my head. “Think on my words. I have more to teach you and I won’t die yet. Come to me with any concerns or questions you might have about becoming the Fates, because once I am gone, it will be down to you.”

We were greeted like heroes as we portaled back to the task team office block. Isaac smacked Charlie on the back, Arabella shook Baelen’s hand and Savida wrapped Zaide in a hug so big that his wings followed his arms and enclosed Zaide inside them.

Still unnerved by my dreams, or visions, I couldn’t work up the enthusiasm to greet everyone. I pretended not to see Natasha and Naomi waving at me and instead nodded my head at Daithi.

“It’s good to see you back,” he said, but his eyes strayed back to Zaide. I couldn’t even form the anger at his easy dismissal of me.

“Can we talk?” I asked, feeling jittery.

He frowned, but nodded and followed me as I walked away from the crowd. I found a private room to pick his brain and pushed open the door to reveal a tiny office with a chair and a desk and some other clutter piled up in the corner. It wasn’t pretty, but it would do. I didn’t want anyone hearing this. Especially not my bonds.

When Daithi settled into the chair and raised a green brow in question, I began, “I don’t know how much you were told. The last few days on the island were hectic.”

“Regarding what?” He crossed his ankles.

“Visions.” I stated, and his eyes sharpened.

“Visions?” He asked. “I haven’t heard anything.”

“Or seen anything?” I asked, my eyes scanning him for clues.

“I haven’t.” He replied, and I paused long enough that he added, “My visions are coming to me when I ask for them now. I am focused on Zaide and Savida.”

I nodded. His friendship and loyalty were to Zaide, so it was understandable. “And there’s nothing untoward happening in those visions now?”

“No.”

I paced, wringing my hands. “Okay, well. I had a vision. Of children. My children. I’m not pregnant now and I don’t think I will be for a long time, but I saw a flash of them at the strangest moment and I knew they were mine. And when Sigurd was telling us about his past, I saw it. I thought it was my imagination, but it wasn’t. Nisha, Baelen’s mother, is a seer and has been showing me her visions in the dreamscape, but she told me that I’m having visions of my own.”

“You are having visions,” Daithi repeated emotionlessly.

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