Page 104 of Catastrophe

Charlie broke the spell of peace as he asked in a low, soft voice. “You ready to talk about it, Clawdicat?”

My soul pair looked startled and then stammered, “I don’t … I’m not … I haven’t …”

“Take a breath,” Baelen instructed, and she gasped as though his words unlocked her ability. “Now, tell us what is poisoning your heart.”

“I killed Mary.” She blurted, tears welling in her eyes as her breath caught. “I’m not sorry she’s dead, but I am ashamed and angry that it was me who took her life. I’m just as bad as she is now. Winnie would be ashamed of me. I’m going to hell.”

“Ah, the old religious guilt is coming back to bite you.” Charlie nodded and rubbed her knee comfortingly. “I thought you abandoned God when He abandoned you?”

She gave a single shoulder shrug and muttered, “It’s not so easily forgotten.”

“Hell is a myth based on Tartarus.” Charlie claimed, but I wasn’t sure how true that was. “In which case you are going to Hell. Eventually.”

“Charlie, logic isn’t helpful right now.” She cried, “I understand you’re trying to help, but you can’t logic me out of feeling my feelings.”

“Fair point,” he muttered and rubbed the back of his neck.

Glaring at him from over my sobbing soul pair, I gathered her into my arms and held her tightly against my body. “Little cat, you are right to feel as you do. But don’t cry for the monster who killed your witch. Cry for yourself because there is a darkened smudge on your soul.” Her lip trembled, and a tear escaped her closed eyes. I wiped it away. “But your soul and mine are one and the same and I know we are not bad people because we have taken lives. We simply did what was necessary to survive.”

She played with the ends of my hair, curling it around her finger and brushing it over her skin as she considered my words.

Baelen agreed. “She would have killed you. Happily handed you over to your enemy. She taunted you. You did as you must.”

“I just feel so awful.”

I nodded. “You will. But eventually you will not. Stay positive, little cat. Things will get better.”

“Will they? Because you were captured and tortured, Charlie turned into a dragon, I killed a person and Baelen had to face the shadow who possessed him, and yet worse, things keep happening.” Her hands waved wildly as she exclaimed, “There’s another dragon now? How do we deal with that? Who was it?”

“Not to mention what happened to Laurence, poor bastard,” Charlie added unhelpfully.

Which reminded me … "Fafnir thought Laurence was the other dragon, which is why he attacked him," I told them.

“So presumably he knows it’s me now?” Charlie sighed.

“I would assume so.”

“But there’s a third dragon under Fafnir’s control?” Clawdia asked.

“I’m not sure about that.” Charlie said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Something doesn’t feel right and Dralie keeps hissing about him being an abomination. Am I the only one who thinks it looks identical to Fafnir’s dragon form?”

“It looks like him, but maybe that’s because it’s one of his relatives?” Clawdia suggested.

Charlie replied. “Me and Dralie don’t look like him. We’re gold.”

But with more questions than answers, Clawdia playfully asked, “Why do you think that is?”

“What do you mean?” Charlie asked, confused.

“Were you feeling left out?” She raised an eyebrow. “Zaide’s golden. I have blond hair. Did you just want to match us?”

“Oh sure, Clawdia, that’s exactly it.” He rolled his eyes but smiled.

Clawdia laughed softly and curled sleepily into me, but as her finger swirled softly against my chest, I knew she was awake. “It’s late. We should go to bed.”

She was right, but going to bed meant waking up, all too soon, to a new set of challenges along our journey.

“Are we going back to the task team tomorrow?” I asked.

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