Page 55 of Reign of Four

I squeeze her hands in mine. “Are you okay?”

She smiles, sweeter this time. “I’ve never been better. I promise.”

We head upstairs to her master bath and she shows me a full drawer of pregnancy tests. Some are little pink strips, while others are the plastic sticks you pee on, still wrapped in the box. Celia lets me pick which ones I want. “When Caleb and I were trying, I got a little carried away. But! We don’t want these to go to waste, now, do we? Take as many as you’d like.”

“I don’t need all of them.” I grab five and leave about ten more in the drawer. “I can take two here, then bring three home. One for each of my men to see.” I nearly roll my eyes at the thought that each man needs his own test to prove I’m pregnant or not, but I wouldn’t put it past them.

Especially Mikhail.

“Well, if you need more, you know where to find them.”

I thank Celia as she closes the door on her way out. Then, I spend a few minutes reading the instructions on the box. I already know what to do; I’m merely stalling for time. Taking a deep breath, I sit on the toilet and will myself to pee.

Taking a test shouldn’t be this hard.

As I wait for the results of test number one, I take test number two, then clean up and sit on the edge of the tub.

All that’s left to do now is wait.

Celia knocks gently. “Everything okay in there?”

“Just waiting.”

“Do you want some company?”

I open the door and let Celia inside. She perches on the vanity while we wait. “You know,” she says after a pregnant pause, “it’s okay to be nervous. Having a baby is a big change, and you’ve gone through a lot of change lately.” She rubs my shoulder fondly. “No one will blame you for being unsure about what comes next.”

I take a deep breath and hold it. I can picture Ezra cradling the tiniest little baby in his arms, gently rocking it to sleep. Or Mikhail, bringing her a thousand stuffed toys and footie pajamas that she’ll have to grow into. Andrei napping on the couch with the baby swaddled against his chest. All of these little fragments are wishes for the future.

I do want a baby. So much. That’s what scares me—that this is all in my head, or that I’ll lose the baby before it’s even born, or that I’ll somehow mess her up with my genes. “I come from a pretty messed up family,” I admit slowly. “I didn’t realize it until I got older, but. . . things weren’t as perfect as they seemed.” I think of my beautiful mother and all the secrets hidden behind her smiles. “I don’t know if my parents really loved each other.”

It makes me sad to think that my mother never knew what it felt like to be loved. Sure, Katya must have loved her daughter, but the touch of a lover who’s in love with you feels wonderful. It’s like sunlight kissing your skin after a cold winter’s night—warm and glowing and full of life.

“Then there’s the whole Baranova thing, with my bloodline. It’s made me a target.” I wrap my arms around my stomach. “I’ve been a bargaining chip my whole life. I don’t want that to happen to my baby.” My biggest fear is that they’ll go through the same things I did and be just as naïve and manipulated as I was. “What if I can’t protect them? What if having my blood is a curse?”

Celia hops off the vanity and buries me in a hug. “If you’re pregnant,” she begins softly, “then your baby is lucky to have a mother who cares so much. And her fathers?” She huffs a quick laugh. “They’ll be so in love with her because she’s a part of you, and they love their momma fiercely. They love themselves too. Mainly Mikhail, so he’ll double-love her for being a mini version of himself.” That makes us both chuckle. “But she’ll also have an auntie who won’t let a damned thing happen to her.” Celia winks. “She’ll be popular in the city as a Baranova, yes, but that also means that the Bratva will look after her. You’ll see.”

“If I’m pregnant.”

She squeezes my hand. “Let’s find out.”

I swallow and stare at the two plastic sticks sitting on the back of the toilet. I pick them up at the same time and slowly turn them over, my heart racing.

Two pink lines confirm it.

I’m pregnant.

Now, I have to tell the fathers.

Chapter 20

Valentina

The drive home feels faster than ever before, and I know Ezra took the scenic route to spend more time with me. It doesn’t matter that all we did was drive around on the back of his motorcycle; it still counts as us time. The scenery is usually beautiful around the park and along the coastline, but my heart isn’t in it today.

Ezra must notice because I’m not gripping him as hard on the turns as I usually do. I’m lost in thought, worrying about the three tests crammed in my bra. I know they’ll all turn up positive.

I just don’t know what I’ll do if any of my men aren’t happy about it.

---