Page 196 of Unexpected Hero

The guilt over the secrets I keep threatens to break me. It’s getting worse every day. And the longer this ruse goes on, the bigger the hole I dig.

It’s already too late.

If I tell her now, I’ll lose her. Too much time has gone by. She won’t forgive me. I’m fucking stuck in this lie until I figure a way out.

I distract myself from dark thoughts by asking, “If I’m not the beanbag type of guy, what type am I?”

“You’re more like a wooden chair type of guy.” I scoff, but before I can protest or ask her for elaboration, she says, “Actually, that’s what you were when I first met you. Stiff and closed off.”

“And now?”

“Now you’re a comfy recliner. But only for me. You’re a metal folding chair for everyone else.”

Never thought a metaphor about chairs would hit the nail on the head like that. But she’s spot on.

Remembering that earlier she sought reassurance about her place with me, I confirm her statement by attempting a joke. “Lettie, you’re the only one I’d ever let call me a chair.” I kiss the top of her head.“And I’ll happily be your comfy recliner. Sit on me all you want. And not just my face, but you’re always welcome up there too.”

She giggles softly against my chest and tightens her embrace. Soaking in every second of this closeness,I stroke her shoulder with my knuckles and patiently wait for her to open up.

“Whenever you’re ready, you can tell me what happened. No rush. I’m not going anywhere.”

Her hold on me intensifies.

Although I don’t expect her to speak so soon, she replies almost instantly. “Well, before we get to what made me freeze back there, can we address the other thing?”

“What other thing?”

Her head flops back, and I look down to see her scrunching her nose at me. Adorable.

“The thing where you call me your girl.”

“I thought we just settled that.”

“We did not.”

“I’m your recliner,” I tease.

“I never thought I’d have to say this to you, but please be serious.”

I laugh silently. “Okay, fine. Let’s see.”I swallow and focus on my words to avoid saying the wrong thing. “When I call you my girl, I mean it exactly as it sounds. You’re mine.”

Even though I have no right to claim you.

“I’m your what? Your lover? Your girlfriend? Your sub? Your friend with benefits? What?”

“Lettie, I told you before that I’m a straightforward man. I don’t think in those terms. I’m yours. You’re mine. That’s it.”

She grins at me. “You’re mine too?”

“Of course, sugar bear.”

One of her immaculately groomed eyebrows arches. “Exclusively mine?”

“Oh I see what’s happening. You’re worried about other people.”

She nuzzles back into my chest. “Well, sort of. I mean, yeah. I don’t want to share you.”

“I thought it was clear that wasn’t going to be a concern when I had Freya take me off the schedule for the shibari demonstrations.”

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