Chapter 1
Hidden truths are still lies
LETTIE
Liars. Both of them.
Ever wonder what it’s like to learn your entire life is bullshit? Speaking from experience, it’s awful. And what makes it worse is that somewhere deep down, I always knew something was off about my parents.
Or my grandparents, as it would appear.
I was raised in a haze of deceit.
Disgust unfurls from deep within me as I stare into the gaunt face of Lionel Holt — the only father I’ve ever known — while listening to his tearful confession.
“Lettie, I’m beggin’ ya to try to understand—”
“Understand?” I squeak, my voice shaky. “How could I ever understand something like this? You both lied to me for my entire life.” My arms wave around as if they’re trying to grasp a shred of stability from among the crumbling walls of my reality. “The people who raised me have been lyin’ to my face. Every single day of my life. And not about something piddly. You lied about who I am. Who you are. This is who we are as a family.”
A farce — that’s who we are as a family.
His wrinkled chin quivers, and I begin to regret my outburst. Especially with his failing health.
I launch to my feet to pace around his bedroom. His regular bed was replaced with an adjustable hospital bed a few days ago.
With forced control in my tone, I ask, “Why are you telling me this now? What am I supposed to do with this information?”
“I couldn’t die with this secret in my heart. You deserve to know, and unless somethin’ changes, your mama ain’t ever gonna tell ya. It’s been tearin’ me up for so long, Lettie. We never wanted to hurt ya. You are everything to us. This don’t change—”
My angry glare cuts off his words. “It changes everything. And don’t call her my mama since she obviously ain’t.”
I’m so upset my Podunk accent and god-awful grammar rage out of control.
Dragging my palm through my hair, I tug my ponytail at the ends. Tears pool in my eyes, but I quickly blink them away, determined not to cry.
My parents are not my parents.
It’s like I’m suddenly starring in a cliché soap opera instead of trudging through my boring life in the microscopic town of Climax, Georgia.
“Papa…” I start but then choke the word back. Because he’s not my papa. “Can I even call you that anymore?”
“Of course you can. I’m still the man who raised you, Lettie bear. The man who read to you at night. Who made sure you had all you needed. Who loves you more than anything in the world. I am your father.”
Not the time to think about Darth Vader, so I quash that unwanted ADHD interjection.
Unable to stave them off, my tears flow freely. “Why did you hide this from me?”
He takes a haggard breath, and the monitors beside his bed register the change in oxygen levels. Oddly, it’s easier to stare at the machines than to look at his face.
I’ve never felt such bone-deep betrayal before. I had no idea my chest could hurt this much from words alone.
As if knowing the cancer was about to take him from me wasn’t bad enough. Now this?
It’s not fair.
“We had our reasons, Lettie. Your mama had the best intentions. When she suggested we hide it, I went along with it. We had just lost our only daughter when we made the decision. You can’t imagine that heartache, and I pray you never know such pain. But we were given such a beautiful gift in you. And we loved you so much. I know we weren’t perfect, but we did the best we could.”
Resentment grabs me by the throat, threatening to shut my airway.