Page 43 of Scorched Hearts

“The whole situation is weighing a bit heavy on me, you know. Elle being in a hospital and me still having to work instead of being by her side. It feels wrong.” She let out a quiet sigh, passively watching two sleepless teenagers make out in a quiet corner. Noticing she was staring, she quickly turned her gaze away. “What do you think?”

“I think you should take a break from work and be with Elle, since you’d gotten so close to each other. She literally almost died.”

“I can’t just take a break from work. We’re still dealing with the earthquake’s aftermath, and the hospital is the fullest it has ever been. Do you think I can just--”

“Do you not have any days of paid leave left?” He interrupted her spiraling.

“I do, but--”

“Well then, what’s the problem? Stop making excuses for yourself and commit to the idea of you two being seriously together. Help her. One surgeon less for two days won’t change the world,” Colin said a bit overconfidently, but Maya had to admit he had a point.

“You’re right. You’re right. I don’t want to leave my team all alone, but two days won’t hurt.”

“There you go.”

“How’s Alexei doing? I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit for so long.” Maya felt a pang of guilt, thinking of her nephew. Recently her life had been so hectic that she’d made no time to check in on him.

“Ah don’t worry. He’s doing surprisingly great, just like you said he would. He’s back in school, recovered in record time. Thanks to you, Maya.”

“If it wouldn’t have been me, it would have been someone else. You know that. But I’m really happy to hear that he’s back to his life.”

After exchanging thoughts on their parents’ house, and Colin listing how the renovation had been going, he reminded Maya that he had to get to work. Hastily, they said their goodbyes, and now she was sitting with a cold latte in her hand, having forgotten to drink it while talking to Colin. Her watch read 7:40 a.m. They’d been talking for an hour. She gulped down the rest of her coffee, tasting the condensed lavender syrup at the bottom, then got up and headed to her car. It was time. She would finally get to see Elle, and if everything went well, she’d get to have an important conversation with her.

The traffic was light, and she felt as if her car soared through the newly laid out lanes. The city’d had to fix the roads cracked open by the earthquake, and the fresh, smooth asphalt felt heavenly beneath the wheels of the car. No bumps on the road, no harsh friction.

When she arrived at the hospital, a chilling sensation ran down her back. She remembered all too vividly carrying Elle inside the hall, waiting and waiting on the visitors’ couch, making her spine sore and her legs itchy for movement. She’d have to wait now, too. The visiting window would open within a half an hour, and she once again had to let her body rest against one of the uncomfortable couches. The magazines laid out for the visitors talked about medicine, fashion, and childcare. There were some newspapers lying around, too, but she didn’t feel like diving into the abyss of descriptions of suffering all around the city. She really wished the earthquake could leave her mind already, everyone’s minds, that they could carry on with their lives as before. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be the case for long months to come.

“Dr Monroe?” A nurse called her into Elle’s room, and Maya shakily followed.

The room had the characteristic atmosphere of hospital convalescence. The blinds were pulled down on the windows, and water bottles lay around the bed and on the nightstand. But Maya’s eyes quickly landed on Elle. Her chest rose and fell with the peaceful rhythm of sleep, so vulnerable and innocent that Maya felt like kissing Elle’s forehead. She sat down on a chair set against one of the walls, instructed by the nurse to wait until Elle would wake up. Elle’s eyes moved frantically from left to right below her eyelids, meaning she was in a REM state.

Maya couldn’t help but look at her and wonder, trying to divine what the dreams could be about. She rarely remembered her own dreams. Her sleep was either too short and weak, or she had to get up and get going too quickly to remember. The dreams would evaporate from her head as soon as she’d left the house. But lying in a hospital bed all day, she thought, one must spend a lot of time with one’s dreams and memories.

After a long while of sitting around reading the leftover newspapers and thinking of what she’d like to say – Elle woke up. Her eyes scanned the room, and upon finding Maya, her lips spread in a smile so warm Maya couldn’t help but blush.

“Hello,” she said softly.

“Hello.” Elle’s voice sounded a little raspy, but Maya could see that she was happy to see her. “Come here,” she spread her arms, inviting Maya in for a hug.

She didn’t have to repeat herself. Not even a second passed before Maya was in her arms, barely containing tears of relief. “I was so, so worried about you,” she whispered.

Elle laid a gentle kiss on her cheek. “I know. They told me you brought me here when I was unconscious.”

Maya looked at her, surprised. “Who told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Elle smiled, shaking her head. She brought Maya’s face closer to her own, and they shared a slow, tender kiss.

Maya felt a great need to hold Elle, feel her body close and alive, breathing, warm, and moving. She never wanted to stop kissing her, or be in her arms, but she knew they’d have to wait for that, that she couldn’t tire Elle too much. Gently, she pulled away, pressing one last kiss on Elle’s face.

“How are you feeling?” She involuntarily scanned the monitors next to Elle’s bed, looking at the way they changed with her being awake, studying the activity of her body in detail. But she wanted to be present, to hear Elle’s voice and drown in it.

“Well, let’s begin by saying what I am not feeling. I can’t feel my legs.”

Maya looked at her seriously. “So I’ve heard,” she said. She knew there was a chance for recovery, however, and knew they’d work hard to make it happen. “But you have a chance at recovery.”

Elle nodded. Maya could see she was scared of the reality in which she wouldn’t be able to walk and would have to change her career. She didn’t press. She knew Elle didn’t like to talk about her feelings, and it wasn’t necessary at this moment.

“I want you to know I’ll be there for you every step of the way,” Maya said carefully. “If you want me to be, of course.”

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