Page 57 of Bristol

I haven’t heard from Sebastian today and as badly as I want to send him a picture of this, I want him to see it in person even more. It’s just after noon and Kendra is pulling up as I step outside of the tattoo parlor.

I slip into the passenger seat and the grim look on her face makes my heart jump into my throat.

“What happened?” I ask.

I hold my breath as tears well in her eyes and she tries to gain her composure.

“There was a really bad accident. Well, more than an accident. An explosion.”

“Kendra…” I warn.

“Sebastian is in the hospital. He suffered severe burns and smoke inhalation.”

The world spins rapidly around me. The air is sucked from my lungs. My heart pounds in my chest. The thrum of blood rushing through my veins echoes so loudly in my ears that if I weren’t sitting, I think I’d pass out. I may still.

“Buckle up. We’re going there now,” Kendra demands, turning the car around and hauling ass onto the highway. The drive to the hospital is a blur. I can’t focus on anything other than this sinking feeling in my stomach. It’s worse than the feeling of Patrick sneaking into that room to assault me. It’s worse than the physical pain he inflicted on me for his own sick personal amusement. The thought of losing Sebastian is the worst thing I’ve ever felt.

Four hours, seventeen minutes and thirty seconds. That’s how long we’ve been driving when we finally pull into the parking garage at the hospital. The hospital that houses the man that I love. Injured. To what extent? I don’t know. I don’t want to know. I do. But I don’t. It’s so fucking conflicting. My heart feels like it’s permanently in my throat and I want to throw up, but I can’t.

There’s something about being in the midst of a tragedy that brings a calmness to me and to my movements. I slowly exit the car and walk calmly next to Kendra across the sky bridge connecting the parking garage to the hospital. Once inside, Reaper, Mo, and another man I don’t recognize meet us in the lobby.

Mo pulls me into his big burly chest and any resolve I had left dissipates and I fall apart in his arms. Mo is the closest thing to family I have other than Sebastian and right now, he’s the only thing holding the shambles of myself together. If he lets go, I’m going to face plant, so I hope he doesn’t.

“It’s okay, darlin’,” Mo whispers, holding me tight.

I take slow, calming breaths to try and stop the onslaught of tears. When I’m able to catch my breath, I wipe my face and try to remain as stoic as possible.

“Where is he?” I ask.

“Listen, Bristol. He’s burnt pretty bad and he’s on a load of medications to help with pain management.”

I cry into Mo’s chest for who knows how long before they guide us to a private waiting area. The room is small, it feels even smaller with all of us inside. There is one love seat and two chairs, and little space left for the doors on either side of the room to open. They’re in a line, as if opening them both at the same time would allow for a hospital bed to pass straight through.

Mo and Reaper stand while Kendra sits next to me on the couch, and the other man takes a seat in one of the chairs.

“What happened?” I ask.

Reaper runs a hand through his hair and his lips purse.

“We were tracking the guy… the one that had you. Shit went south at an exchange that was being made and it turned out that guy wasn’t even there. Long story short, there were innocent people inside the house when it exploded as we were driving away, and Sebastian fucking went back in. He got the kids out, but he couldn’t fit through the window of the basement with his wide ass fucking shoulders.”

Reaper’s hands are fisted by his side, white-knuckled with his anger. I can’t tell if he’s mad at Sebastian or himself, or maybe it’s a little of both. The room is silent, the echo of Reaper’s words so loud in the silence that surrounds us.

A loud thud makes me jump so hard I swear my heart stopped for a moment. I look in the direction it came from to see Reaper punching the wall. The other man rises from the chair he’s sitting in and grabs Reaper’s shoulder before he can throw another punch.

“Let’s take a walk,” he says calmly. Too calmly. It’s eerie.

Reaper nods and follows him out of the room.

“What are we waiting for?” Kendra asks.

“They took him back to clean his wounds and bandage him up. They’re going to come get us from this room whenever he can have visitors.”

I sigh and sit back on the couch. As soon as my back touches the couch, I gasp and spring forward. The pressure on my back hurt and it’s only now that I remember I just had my entire back tattooed.

“I’m going to go check on Reaper,” Kendra says softly.

Everyone is talking so quietly. It’s as if they think the softer their words are the softer the blow to my heart will be. They’re wrong. They could scream and shout and yell it through a megaphone and no amount of noise could drown out the absolute brokenness that I feel inside.

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