Page 121 of They Break Beauty

Our gazes clashed and pain met pain.

“Close your eyes,” she beseeched me.

But I couldn’t.

I couldn’t leave her alone in this.

So I kept eye contact with her throughout.

And it killed a piece of my soul knowing that was all I could do to help her.

I snapped back to reality, feeling my pulse pounding in my ears, my hands shaking.

Next, I would be struggling to breathe easily and sweating profusely.

I was on the verge of having my first anxiety attack in ages. Fuck.

I’d often thought about that time, obviously. Especially with my mission at hand, and through connecting with Brianna again. I also had recurring nightmares about it if I allowed myself to sleep for more than a couple of hours a night. But I’d never actually spoken about it or gone there in detail like I just had, I’d never recalled that hellscape to the point of basically having to relive it.

And I hadn’t even covered more than a very small portion of what had gone down over those two weeks. Not who else had been dragged in there. Not how Brianna’s gunshot wound scar in her back had been caused in that place. Not what else had happened to us.

I couldn’t.

It should be enough to make Mason understand where I was coming from, though.

I sank against the wall, trying to stop myself from entering into a full-blown attack.

Looking out at Brianna, I saw Colt on the arm of the chair beside her now, stroking her back and whispering words of comfort to her as she leaned forward with her head buried in her hands.

I wanted to go to her, but I could barely move currently.

“It’s okay, Wildflower,” I spoke, my voice sounding like it wasn’t my own and like it was so far away. “You’re safe. It’s over, it’s long over.”

She lifted her head and instantly I saw that she was struggling with the same reaction that I was—she was having an attack. Her eyes were wide and glazed, sweat slicked her brow and down her chest, and she was panting. Just as Colt started to talk her through it like he and Mason used to do for me when I’d had attacks regularly, a wall of muscle blocked my visual.

I blinked, struggling to make out what was happening in my discombobulated state.

And then I managed to take in Mason through my blurred vision.

“I’m sorry, Lev. So sorry you both suffered through that.”

I jolted as he grasped my biceps.

“Breathe with me. Focus on me.”

I couldn’t speak, could barely comprehend what he was saying.

He eased me closer, making more physical contact, and it was enough to get me to focus on my breathing with him.

“Good. Very good,” he spoke softly at my ear.

“Mason,” I croaked.

“It’s all gonna be okay. I’m fucking here now, I swear it, brother.”

He wrapped his arms around me in one of his warm bear hugs, and I sank into it.

For the first time in a really long while, I let him comfort me.

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