Page 80 of Frayed Bonds

I toss my head back onto the pillow and sigh, deciding I’ll give sleep one last try before I give up. Not even two minutes later my eyes are open, lazily scanning my room, the sunlight is slowly starting to stream in through the thick curtains covering the window. With everything that went on last night, drawing the blackout curtains was the last thing on my mind.

Shuffling from outside my door stirs irritation in me but also a sense of panic. There’s no need for any of my brothers to be anywhere near my room, but they always seem to make a habit of stumbling in unannounced.

I sigh and try to peel my arm out from beneath Valerie, she sleepily rolls over to her other side, facing the window and sighs lightly before drifting off to sleep again.

I make quick time of closing the black-out shades so that she isn’t woken by the soon-to-be very bright, morning sun. I pull on my running shoes and head down towards the kitchen.

The shuffling becomes louder as I enter, finding my mamá mopping the wet floor and I curse myself.

“Scusa, mamma, stavo uscendo a farlo adesso,” Sorry mama, I was just coming out to do this. I rush to take the mop away from her.

“Just leave it, I’m almost done. Why are the floors dripping wet?”

“Probably isn't the only thing dripping wet,” Antonio's voice sounds from the door. “Which girl did you end up bringing home last night?”

He’s still dressed in the suit he wore to The Vice and still looks equally as drunk. “Did you just get home?” I frown.

“Yeah, Gus and I had to wait for Mattia to be done with his shit with Enzo before we could leave since Adriano disappeared and left us stranded.”

Adriano abandoned our brothers to take Nat home, per my request, and sure I should probably feel some guilt for leaving them there alone but they could both do with a humbling.

“Are you heading out for a run? Is the sex that bad?”

“Hey!” My mama yells, throwing a dish towel at him that he effortlessly avoids.

“I didn’t have sex with anyone, there’s no one here.” I shrug.

“Yeah, and those heels appeared out of thin air? Because Mamá sure as hell doesn't wear these,” Antonio says pointing at the shoes I placed near the back door when I went chasing after Valerie.

Cazzo.

I push past him not bothering to justify myself but of course, Antonio is the one to catch me out in a lie about this. My mother practically starts cross-questioning him about the shoes comment as I head out towards the beach to run.

As each step digs into the hard sand next to the shoreline, my heart thumps against my chest. Finally realising and confessing what I've been in denial about for so long feels both liberating and terrifying.

But the guilt of my selfish decisions claw at my conscience. Antonio's feelings for her have always been so open, so honest, so genuine. Not hidden behind pride. It feels like I’m betraying him in the worst way possible, knowing how he has felt for so long and now doing this.

My heart doesn't seem to get the memo though, it’s like a magnet set directly for her pulling me closer every day.

Val's more than a pretty face; she's a ray of sunshine in a storm, a splash of colour in a room full of black and white. And there's my predicament—falling for her when I shouldn't.

I run, not just for physical exertion but to outrun the chaos in my head. These feelings are like an invisible weight on my shoulders and now that I’ve confessed them to her it feels as if I’ve somehow opened Pandora's box.

I would distance myself to respect Antonio's feelings but now that I know how she tastes and feels, how am I supposed to ever pretend it didn't all happen?

Valerie deserves a love that doesn't come with complications, a love unburdened by guilt and conflicted affections. And I'm going to try my best to give it to her, even though I know all hell is about to break loose.

As I jog back up to the house, I try to force my thoughts back into some semblance of order. I can’t be fraying at the seams while I have what could be the girl of my dreams in my bed.

Antonio jogs past me. “Where are you off to?” I ask.

“Kaia asked if anyone could pick her up from the airport and I said you were a bit preoccupied,” he smirks and I want to smack it off of his face.

God, that means Kaia has probably assumed what he meant and it’s going to result in an interrogation from her later that I definitely won’t have answers for.

Heading back inside, I try to keep my movements as silent as possible in case she’s still asleep and when I get back to my room and find her starfished across my bed, I can’t help the soft smile that spreads across my face.

I’m sweaty as hell and I know I should go shower first but I can’t stop myself from sitting on the edge of the bed where she’s laying. The sun is streaming in slightly through the small gap between the curtains creating a golden haze over her face. Her hair is sprawled beneath her, she looks ethereal, and I have no idea what I've ever done to deserve this moment right now, to deserve her in my bed.

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