Page 99 of The Art of Taking Second Chances

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I’ll always be indebted to you.”

“Indebtedness is not a substitute for love.” Crisp and to the point. Classic Sujit.

“That’s what Aai said. I never meant to hurt you, Sujit.”

“Do you love me?”

I hung my head. “Why did you come back?” I asked instead, looking up at him.

He returned my look with some anger. “I wanted to make sure you were alright.” A brief pause. “You didn’t answer me. Do you love me?”

“Yes. If I didn’t, this wouldn’t be so difficult. I do love you, Sujit, but it’s different with Sameer, and I want that,” I answered unabashedly because he deserved my honesty. “You’re a warm, genuine man—”

“Is that why you’re doing this to me?” His caustic words hung between us in the guilt-ridden room, and silent tears began flowing down my face again.

He put on his glasses, stood up, and left, closing the door behind him with a sharp slam.

Sona helped Aai reheat leftovers from the previous night and coaxed me into eating. When she left, Aai made tea for my massive headache. We retired to the balcony, but I couldn’t smell the herbs or the lilies. The crickets had abandoned me too. Aai and I finished our tea in the silence of the suffocated night.

After she turned in, I called Sameer. He answered, but from the sounds of heavy traffic and incessant honking, he seemed to be outside.

“I told Sujit,” I said.

“Oh, my love, are you alright?”

“I will be,” I said, trying to hold back my tears. “Sameer, when are you coming back? I don’t want to spend another moment without you.”

“Soon, my jaan. Listen, I have to go, but I’ll call you tomorrow morning, I promise.” He hung up, and I sobbed until I passed out from fatigue.

The next morning, I looked like I had been in a boxing match. The headache persisted, and no amount of tea or Aai’s ointments helped. Finally, I took a prescription-strength painkiller with my tea while Aai made a quick semolina breakfast. Sameer called me as promised, and we talked for a bit about Sangita’s condition. Then I packed and got ready for my early evening flight.

“Aai, now that Sujit is no longer a part of my support system here, do you want to come to Dallas? It’s not a long time. We can go around the city a bit.”

“No,” she said. “It’s too much of an effort for me to pack for such a short visit.”

“But I’ll be worried all the time.”

“Sona is here. Don’t worry about me.”

“She liked Sujit,” I said to Aai.

“Yes, I like him too. But this is your life, not either of ours.”

I called Sujit to apologize, but as I had expected, he didn’t answer. Instead of leaving a voicemail, I sent him a text, asking for his forgiveness and telling him he didn’t need to check up on Aai anymore. I anticipated no response, and I got none.

After I packed and showered, we ate a light lunch. I didn’t want to eat at all, but Aai insisted. We had just finished when Sujit appeared at my door.

“Can I come in?” he asked as I stood dumbstruck. I nodded and moved aside to let him in.

“Hi Aai,” he said.

You don’t have to call her that anymore, I was tempted to tell him, but I think it was more a term of endearment than actually calling her Mom.

“Hello, beta,” Aai said with a warm smile. “You talk here.” She retreated to her room.

“I’m sorry, Sujit,” I began.

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