Page 95 of The Art of Taking Second Chances

“I don’t know what to say…” I turned to Sujit, my shaking hands gripping his to hold myself upright.

“We won’t see each other for your birthday, so I thought this was the perfect way to celebrate.” Gently, he pulled me toward his family.

“Amma, Nanna, this is Tara. Tara, my parents, and my brother and his wife.”

Everything felt out of sync, like an erratic dream. This was not where we were supposed to be, not what we were supposed to be doing—meeting his family for the first time at my surprise birthday party. My mind struggled to piece the day together. I longed to be in Sameer’s arms right now. I cast a guilty glance at Sujit. He was smiling as if this was the happiest day of his life.

The lunch was set up in the beautiful dining room with paintings that I had helped choose. Each piece of art looked down on me with contempt as I hung my head in shame while smiling all the smiles I could muster.

His family was warm and unassuming. They made me feel welcome and loved. It was already getting more difficult when Sujit brought out a cake frosted to look like one of the paintings in the living room. I might have mentioned that it was my favorite piece. My hands got clammy as Sujit handed me the knife. I cut a sliver, as if that would somehow compensate for the slash I was going to rip through his life. Breathe, I told myself.

It was almost twilight when the party began to break up. I learned from Sona that Sujit had arranged for a car for her and Aai. He had confided in Sona about the party, and after he had picked me up that morning, Sona called Aai. That was the reason for the detours we took before landing here. He was buying them time to arrive before us. I hadn’t told Sona the real reason for my visit. When the gravity of the event came crashing down on her, she sucked in a quick breath.

“That’s why your mom has been so quiet.” She cast a glance at Aai, who was talking to Sujit and his parents. “She looked sad on the ride over, but I couldn’t figure out why. Now I know. You’ve told her?”

I nodded. “Last night…I can’t breathe, Sona.”

She covered my hands with hers and patted them. “I know whatever you decide will be the right thing for you. Trust yourself, okay? I love you. I’ll come over when you’re back. You’re not alone, Tara. You have me. You know that, right?”

I nodded with my eyes lowered, resisting the urge to hug her tight.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” she asked as I squeezed her hand.

“No, I’ll text you when I’m back.”

Aai walked over to us. “Are you still going to tell him?” she asked in Marathi.

“I don’t know. Maybe not today.”

She kissed my forehead before she and Sona left for home. Sujit’s family left too. His sister-in-law and mother gave me warm hugs before driving off in their separate cars.

“We’re alone, now,” Sujit said, closing the door behind them.

“Yes. Thank you so much for such a special day.”

I smiled and gave him a formal hug.

“You can do better than that,” he said, gathering me in his arms. “I still haven’t given you your birthday present yet.”

“Sujit…”

“Yes…” He smiled suggestively.

“I don’t feel well…”

“Oh!” He released me and held my shoulders. “What happened?”

“I feel nauseous.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie.

“Okay, just relax. Here, sit here.” He led me to the couch. “Do you want some water?”

I shook my head. “I just need to rest for a bit.”

“Okay, take your time. There’s no rush. I’ll put out the trash quickly and get you some water. Is that good?”

I nodded, and he scurried away. Taking in deep breaths, I tried to regulate my heart rate, but it was a futile endeavor. When he came back a few minutes later, he smelled of floral hand soap and expensive cologne.

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