Page 13 of The Secrets Behind Us

I start to say open my mouth to protest, but my mom interrupts. “Oh, that sounds fun. You should go, Hazel. Take your mind off things.”

“Won’t your husband want you home? We went out last night too,” I ask Ashley a little bit too harshly.

Ashley gets this weird look on her face but then it’s gone as quickly as it came and waves me off. “Oh, he won’t mind. He’s probably working late anyways.”

She quickly turns away. That was weird. Now that I think about it, Ashley hasn't really said anything about her husband, everything has always been about me. Note to self, ask her about what's going on with her when we're alone.

But since he's working late, there goes my excuse for not going out two nights in a row. My mind is running trying to come up with a different reason. But the look on my sister’s face causes me to force a smile.

I grimace with the next words that come out of my mouth, “I guess. It could be fun.”

My sister jumps up and claps her hands. “Eeek…this is going to be so much fun.”

I love her enthusiasm, but unfortunately, I don't feel the same.

“You know we don’t have to make up the time we haven’t spent together all at once. Right?”

She shrugs. “I know. I just really missed you.”

I swallow. I don’t know what to say to that, so I just look away. But I do have a nagging feeling that something could be off with her. “I can’t wait for you to meet the girls.” Ashley's declaration forces me to focus on her words.

“Yeah, Hazel, you’re going to love the girls.” My mother has a wicked glint in her eye as she teases. I knew it, she set me up.

“Mom, why do you want me out of the house so badly?”

“I want alone time with your father.” One shoulder lifts as if it's the simplest answer.

“Eww. Gross.” Ashley and I say at the same time.

No one wants to think about their parents that way. Ever.

The day goes by quickly and before I know it, I’m pulling up in front of Gary’s Place. I try to stifle it, but I can't help but let a yawn escape. The last few weeks have been exhausting and I think it's starting to get to me. I should cancel, but the idea of letting Ashley down makes me sad, and I can't do that anymore than I've already done.

I’ve never been great at making friends which is making my anxiety shoot through the roof. I’ve only had two friends in my life.

Dexter, who I met at eight and Sarah from California. I wipe my hands on my shorts. Why am I so nervous to meet Ashley’s friends? This is ridiculous, I shouldn’t be this nervous. Time to go in. I pull on my big girl panties and make my way out of the car and into the bar.

Tonight, the bar isn’t as crowded. I guess no special event. I try to look through the light haze of smoke that seems to fill the room. It's hard to tell if the smoke is from cigarettes or if there is a smoke machine somewhere in the room.

As I survey the room for my sister, a small part of me is hoping to see Dexter again. I haven't been able to get the way his hands felt on me out of my head all day. I want to feel him again. I let out a sigh, knowing that's probably not happening anytime soon. When I don't see my sister, I walk over to the bar. “Hey, Ricky.”

“Hey, Hazel. Back for another night?” He asks as he lifts his gaze from the glasses that he's drying.

I sigh and rest my chin on the heel of my hand. “Yeah. Ashley somehow convinced me to come out with her and her friends.”

He chuckles. “That girl sure does know how to get what she wants.”

“Yeah, she does. She especially knows how to guilt me."

“I heard you talked with Dexter today. How are things?” he asks hesitantly.

I look away from him and keep my eyes fixed on the jukebox across the room. "Why is it so smoky in here?"

Ricky doesn't answer me. When I look back to see if he's moved on to another customer, he's just staring at me with his lips pinched, as if he's waiting for me to answer. Not being able to handle him scrutinizing me, I squeeze my eyes closed tight. “Fuck. I keep forgetting how fast word spreads.”

He drops the pinched look and a goofy grin replaces it. “The pleasures of living in a small town.”

I huff out a breath and start to spill my guts. “I don’t know how things are with Dexter. One minute he's storming away from me and then the next morning, he's kissing me."

---