Page 1 of The Secrets Behind Us

Chapter one

Hazel

“It’s time to come home,” my younger sister Ashley's frustrated voice rings through the phone.

I huff out a breath. This is what I’ve been dreading. I knew my self-imposed exile couldn't last forever. Last year when I got the call from my dad that my mom was sick, I knew I would have to go home. I was just hoping I would've had longer than the five years I've been gone before being beckoned back to Rose Valley.

“I know. It’s just that I’ve got so much going on out here. I’m not sure how quickly I’ll be able to get back home.”

I pull my lip into my mouth, chewing on it. The idea of returning home makes me so nervous I just might throw up. I swallow down the bile trying to creep up my throat as flashes of memories from the night I left home run through my mind. Dexter lying in bed, bloody, broken and bruised from a rough fight. I can still feel the way my salty tears tracked down my face as I got a text that changed the course of my life. I bring my fingertips up to my cheeks as if I could wipe them away, along with all the pain I've lived with for the past five years.

“Hazel.” The harshness of Ashley's tone brings me back from the past, forcing me to pay attention to her. "You need to come home. We need you. Mom needs you. Dad needs you. I need you. And I know you're in between jobs now.”

"How do you know about that?” I ask with a razor edge sharpness to my tone.

"Mom told me." I let out a soft chuckle. Of course, my mom told her. You can’t keep anything a secret in this family. “But don’t worry, I know the perfect one for you—”

“Ashley. I know you're trying to help, but I can find a job myself,” I interrupt her before she can continue.

“I’m sorry. I just want to help. I get it, I won’t push anymore. I’ll just say one last thing, you can stay with me if you don’t want to stay at Mom's. At least until you find an apartment.”

I hate it when my sister gets in these modes. I call it her fixer mode. She loves to solve problems and her solutions always make fucking sense, which pisses me off more. Why does she have to fix things in a logical way?

I’m the older sister by three years. Shouldn’t I be the wise one, telling her to get her shit together, not the other way around? I should be the one who solves problems and gives advice. But once again I have to admit, she's right. "Okay. You win. I’ll call the movers today and hopefully I’ll be back in a week.” I heave a heavy sigh as my shoulders sag.

A screech leaves her, and then she starts talking a mile a minute with excitement. “Thank God. I can’t wait. We can do so much together, just like when you lived here before. Watch movies, go to the nail salon and even get drinks together. I’m so excited. You've been gone for so long. It's time for you to meet my friends from the hospital."

Then she gets choked up as she struggles with her emotions. “You’ve been gone so long and so much has changed. I can’t wait to have my sister back.”

My chest hurts with the amount of guilt that fills me. Ashley and I were close until I moved away. I rub the middle of my chest, hoping to relieve some of the physical strain. Staying away has put a toll on our relationship, along with her constantly asking me questions about why I left. I gave her the same answer as everyone else, but she knows me and knows that I’m lying. She stopped pushing, but I know the need for her to understand my reasoning eats at her.

“So…do you want to stay with me or Mom and Dad?” Ashley asks me with a gentle tone. I can tell she's trying not to push me too hard.

What a loaded question. I love my sister, but she’s got her own family to take care of. Not only is she married, but they are trying to have a baby. I’m sure her husband Simon does not want me living with them. The last time I saw them, he looked at my sister like she was his world. I'd have to burn my eyes out if I walked in on something that I didn't want to see, which if I move in with them, I have a feeling will happen a lot.

On the other hand, living with my mom and dad feels like I’m admitting defeat. It's as if I’m not a full-grown adult even though I just entered my thirties. I’ve been living in California for the last five years avoiding my hometown like the plague.

I used to love being from Rose Valley. I never wanted to leave, but one night changed everything.

I left it all behind and moved over a thousand miles away. Needing to forget and trying to move on.

But in the end, the jokes on me since I never could. I’ve just been going through life on autopilot and hoping to survive. I don’t live because this is my punishment for destroying my only chance at happiness.

Dexter Hernandez doesn’t give second chances and I don’t deserve one.

After five years, fate has decided it’s time I face the consequences of my choices. My mom is sick with breast cancer, and my sister has been taking her to her appointments because my dad has been working to the bone to pay for her hospital bills.

I blow the strand of hair that seems to have slipped out of my ponytail from my face, trying to focus back on the conversation with my sister. It's not until the name Dexter leaves my sister's lips that my attention is drawn back, as my heart drops into my stomach. I always think I'm past everything, but then something reminds me of him or someone mentions his name and the melancholy takes over.

My family knows that I pulled away from him but not why. I told them the same thing I told him; the fights were too much. No one knows about the unknown messages.

Dexter quit working for my dad at the garage, and he doesn’t go to our family dinners anymore. He seems to have put distance between himself and everyone that is involved with me. My parents don’t say it, but I know it hurts them.

“Let me know when you get everything squared away and where you’ll be staying,” my sister demands.

I clear away the rock in my throat. “I’ll text you once I call the moving company. Ashley, I appreciate the offer to stay, but I’ll just stay with Mom. If I’m there to help them, it will be easier to do that at their house.”

"Sounds good. And Hazel?”

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