Page 6 of The Love of Secrets

He puts his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, man. I’m not trying to interfere.” His eyes soften a bit. “You’re always making sure that Dex and I aren’t jumping off the ledge and I know you don’t do casual. I just want to do the same for you.”

“There’s nothing to be careful about. She’s just another client.”

The lie feels bitter on my tongue. I know deep in my bones that she is not just a client, she’s much more.

I head out the door of the room and back into the main gym. Alex follows me. When we reach the front desk, I reach to grab her paperwork to steal her phone number from it, but something stops me. My shoulders tighten as I try to figure out how I’m going to get in contact with her without looking like a douchebag or a stalker.

Alex is still hovering behind me. I turn toward him. “What else do you want?”

“I was just hoping that you would come with me to Gary’s Place tonight.”

“No.”

“Come on, Mateo. I don’t want to go by myself, and we both know that Dexter isn’t going to come with me. He only wants to spend time with Hazel.” Bunching his shoulders as he whines, he sticks out his bottom lip.

I roll my eyes at his antics, but he’s right.

All I really want to do is close the gym at eight, go home, eat dinner and then go to bed. By myself. Guilt hits me in the chest. I’ve always been the one who was there for him since we were kids, taking care of him and Dexter, especially once mom died. Dad’s world had crumbled all around him and left us standing there in the rubble.

I take a deep breath and know what I’m going to be doing tonight. I turn toward Alex and sigh. “Sure, I could use a drink.”

Alex slaps his hand on the back of my shoulder. “Thanks, man. I knew I could count on you to be my wing man.”

“Be there at nine.”

Alex nods and then waves at me as he leaves the gym, giving me the time I need to return to my office and figure out how I’m going to get Cecilia to give me a chance.

Chapter five

Cecilia

After the gym, I run home to do a rinse shower and dress quickly to make sure I arrive at Gary’s Place on time. I don’t want Ricky to have any reason to fire me, especially before I even start. Pulling up to the bar, I glance down at my outfit. Gary’s Place is more of a dive bar, and I wanted to come up with an outfit that would fit in here. I thought pairing my favorite skinny jeans, a graphic tee, and my chucks will work great. I didn’t want to stand in heels all night, either.

Even though the excitement of starting a new job is still bubbling underneath, I can’t help but have so many other emotions swirling with it. Tears form in my eyes, and I wipe them quickly, letting out a breath at the same time.

You don’t have time for this right now.

The need to gather my emotions and shove them away overwhelms me. Thankfully, when I was in high school, I experienced a lot of anxiety, and my school counselor was a saint that helped me learn a few techniques to help me with it. Closing my eyes I count to ten, giving myself those seconds to feel what I need to feel. During those ten seconds, I repeat a few mantras I’ve been living off of over the last few months.

There’s no reason to dwell on them. I’m here in Rose Valley. We’re making a life for ourselves. Michael doesn’t know where we are. We are safe. You are taking steps to make sure that you and Oliver have a great life.

I release a long breath and open my eyes.

Using breathing techniques was something I learned when I was younger and in therapy. The mantras were something I started doing when things with Michael were getting bad. Releasing those thoughts and bringing positive ones helped to calm the feelings of turmoil, allowing me to deal with them at a later time.

I grab my purse and make my way to my first serving job. These are the steps that I need to take to make sure everything works out. When I walk into the bar, my eyes have to adjust once again to the darkness. Relief washes over me, and excitement takes center stage when I see Ricky standing and waiting for me with a smile. A small voice in the back of my head kept trying to tell me I had made the whole thing up but seeing him there gives me validation.

I didn’t make up the job offer.

“Hey Cecilia, why don’t I show you where to put your purse and we’ll get started?” He comes around the bar, and I follow him to a back room. This room has lockers on one wall and on the other, a desk that holds a computer and has papers spread out all over it.

“These lockers are where employees put their belongings. This one is yours.” He points to the one that is closest to me. I open it and place my purse inside as Ricky continues. “With this many lockers you would think that we have a lot of employees, but we only have four others, not including me. You’ll meet them eventually. Tonight, should be pretty slow since it’s a Monday night. It will just be me and you. I’ll be bartending and you’ll serve the drinks. Any questions so far?”

“Not so far.”

“Great. I’ll pay you after your shift every night. If in two weeks this works out, I’ll bring you on as a full-time employee. That way you can get our health insurance. The bar opens up at soon, so we need to set up now.”

We both make our way back into the main part of the bar, where Ricky saunters up to an iPad. “When a customer gives you a drink order, you’ll put it in here.” He pulls up a screen filled with an overwhelming number of choices. “And if someone gives a drink that isn’t already saved on the iPad, then you’ll go to this screen and write it in here.” He pushes a few buttons to bring up the other screen.

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