Page 109 of Dust to Dust

Confusion flooded me. “You’re not?”

“I give you my word.”

When he took a step forward, I grimaced, which caused him to freeze. “I’m so sorry for my behavior.” He nodded to my arm. “I hate myself for manhandling you like that. Are you okay?”

Unable to process the difference in him, I merely bobbed my head.

“I’m sorry for the things I said, too.” Motioning to the couch, he said, “Won’t you have a seat?”

Considering my knees felt like they were about to give out, I gladly sunk down onto the leather. I licked my lips that had run dry before turning my attention back to Kellan.

He drew in a deep breath and began pacing in front of me. From time to time, he would jerk a hand through his strawberry blonde hair. “Considering you’re under Quinn’s protection, I imagine you aren’t ignorant to what kind of world my brothers and I are in.”

I swallowed hard at the reference to the mafia. “No, I’m not.”

“In our world, it’s difficult to gain respect or to be taken seriously unless you act like?—”

“A total bastard?”

The corners of his lips quirked. “Exactly.”

It was then that it hit me. “It was all an act,” I murmured more for myself than for him.

He nodded. “The bouncers wouldn’t listen to me unless I took on the persona of…well, my brothers.”

“You were very convincing,” I replied.

Kellan laughed. “I guess I could say I’ve learned from the best.”

Furrowing my brows at him, I asked, “But why did you need to do it?”

“I needed to be able to get you alone—” At my sharp intake of breath, he shook his head. “It’s not like that, Isla.”

“I’m having a hard time believing you considering we’re in one of the private rooms”

He dropped to his knees in front of me. “I swear that all I want from you is to talk.”

I blinked at him. “You want to talk to me?” At his emphatic nod, I asked, “But why?”

An agonizing sigh escaped his lips. “I’m trapped by something from my past, and I can’t move forward.” Ducking his head, he added, “It’s messing with me when it comes to…” He glanced back up at me. “Well, with women.”

My chest tightened at the pain etched on his face. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s crazy because it happened over a year ago. While it was bad then, it’s gotten even worse lately.”

“Can’t you talk to your brothers about it?”

His eyes bulged at the suggestion. “Feck no. That would make me look weak.”

“With everything he’s been through, Quinn would surely understand.”

“As far as I know, Quinn’s never spoken to any of us about his accident.”

My mind instantly flashed to our first night together and how Quinn described in horrific detail the bombing. “How is that possible?” I questioned more for myself than for Kellan.

Kellan rose to his feet. With his back to me, he replied, “As an outsider, you can never understand. Men are expected to act a certain way in my world. To talk about our feelings—to be depressed—it puts a target on us.”

“You’re right. I don’t understand. My sister and I share everything.”

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