Page 2 of Kissing the Kelpie

His eyes grow in disbelief. The light radiating inside me spreads to him and reflects in his eyes. Excitement and joy settle in his features.

“Baby? We’re having a baby? Are you sure?”

“Positive. You want to see the plus sign?”

“Masha, we’re having a baby!”

“I know, I told you.”

He exhales, and his eyes fill with emotion. “Is it bad that I’m turned on right now?” He lifts me by the back of my thighs and wraps my legs around his torso.

“You’re turned on when the wind blows.” I counter, clasping my hands behind his neck as he holds me against him.

“Only when I’m next to you.”

That night, Mike carried me into the bedroom, set me down on the mattress, and took a painstakingly long time kissing every part of my body as he undressed me. Slow and tender, he made love to me. Before then, we fucked, but not that night. Not any night after that.

He didn’t want to hurt the baby and was nervous that anything not slow and tender would do irreparable damage to her. I thought life couldn’t get better. I definitely didn’t count on how much worse it would get—and in such a short time.

Replaying the scene in my head wipes the smile from my face, but the fact that I enjoyed the memory is progress. You would think after five years, I wouldn’t still cry when I allow myself to swirl down the funnel of memories. But I do. I ugly cry.

I keep a brave face on for Ana. I don’t want my daughter to see me wallowing in pain from missing her father. That’s why I push thoughts of the only man I ever loved from my mind.

The seclusion is a source of comfort. It’s part of what attracted me to living here. Sure, Em provides serious protection for Ana and me, but it’s the solace and quiet that have helped me move on. Or have they helped me shroud myself in denial and stolen away my chance to ever lead a normal life? I shake away the intrusive thought.

Living in the forest, I don’t have the time to wallow and dwell on what I’ve lost. The constant need to work keeps my body and mind busy. My day starts with collecting eggs. Em brings me buckets of water to boil and for laundry. And then there are clothes. I always seem to be working on a new sewing project.

Thankfully, Ana isn’t going through sizes the way she did her first two years. Now, at least, the clothes I make her last more than a month or two. I don’t mind sewing her dresses and outfits or using the gifts the forest offers to make other necessities for our day-to-day life. Every now and then, Em surprises us with things from outside the forest, like bottled water, children’s books, and coloring books and crayons. What I wouldn’t do to sit and watch t.v. once in a while.

Em sees to it that the farms around his domain are safe from poachers and wild animals. The wolves and coyotes learned the hard way that unapproved hunting will not be tolerated. In return, the farmers share their abundance with Em, and he shares it with us.

Not being faced with listening to love songs, reading romance novels, or seeing rom/com movies also helps with Project: Keep My Sanity. It shields me from the resentment that comes from even the idea of people finding lasting love and happiness.

When I first lost Mike, a dangerous rage settled inside me. At my brother. At the unfair twists in my life. The last thing I needed was to have other people’s happily ever after shoved in my face. Here, that didn’t happen. Until Em found Erin. Now, I have to witness it on a daily basis.

I hated her when we first met. I knew immediately Em caught feelings. Fuck caught them; it’s like he dove in head first and swam to the bottom of the ocean searching for them. And after only spending a few hours with her. I thought maybe it was just his protective instinct, but no. Em fell hard. I resented Erin and wanted her out of our forest. Away from our home.

Things changed quickly, and now, I enjoy having her here to talk to and do chores with. She’s become a trusted friend. I still haven’t told her the nitty gritty details about Mike and his murder. She knows the bird’s eye view: he was Ana’s father, I loved him, and my brother killed him.

I’m relieved that she hasn’t asked questions about how we met or how long we were together. Not long enough before my brother found us and ended his life. I’m sure she will eventually, but I think she understands I’m not ready to talk about that time in my life.

I bring myself back to the moment. And the music that’s still playing. Is it a violin? Could Em have given one as a gift to Erin? Even if he did, she wouldn’t be playing it outside at this time of night, would she?

The tune leads me unwittingly down the path to the spring where we bathe. My favorite spot in the forest. It’s beautiful, peaceful, and every bit a paradise. Even at night, the splash of color from the bright flowers shows in muted tones.

As I step closer, I blink my eyes, sure I’m hallucinating. On the other side of the water, opposite me, I see a man. A stunning man, and he’s playing the violin.

Chapter 2

Lost in his music, the breathtaking man doesn’t appear to notice me. I blink a few times to see if he disappears when my vision clears. Instead, I have a better view of him. His light blonde hair hangs to his shoulders, droplets of water falling from the ends. He must have just taken a swim in the spring. I smile at the leaf or vine stuck in his hair.

Serves him right for sneaking a quick dip in our bathing area. I feel a strange stirring as I imagine him without his clothes, enjoying the warm water in the moonlight. The image stirs something inside me.

I let out a long breath. I don’t know why my brain went there. I step closer for a better look, soaking in the details of the stranger with hair so light it looks white.

Could he be an angel? No. That’s ridiculous.

But how could an ordinary man get this deep in the forest without Em’s help? And if Em brought, or even allowed, a man here, he would’ve told me. His job is to protect Ana and me. And he does it with pride and skill.

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