Page 44 of Smoke and Mirrors

“He shared some of himself with me,” I whisper, guilt creeping up my throat. “And I ran.”

Max slowly released me, shaking his head. I knew he was disappointed, all that talk about trust and give and take we’d had, and I’d thrown everything back in Kace’s face.

“I was scared,” I try to reason.

“I’m sure he was, too.” Max shrugs.

The muscles in my body tighten, and suddenly I know he’s right. If Kace was telling the truth, he put his life on the line just because he felt he owed me an explanation. He didn’t owe me anything. But like a child, I’d forced him to do something he should have never had to do.

“You care about him?” Max asks, surprising me.

I sit silently for a minute, considering his question. How did I feel when I thought about him getting hurt? Sick, nervous, every part of me prayed that he’d be okay. I remember the hell in his eyes when he described who he was, living inside the darkness so that the others could have the light. Doing the dirty work so that people he didn’t know, people he’d never met, could live their lives in peace.

I don’t want that for him. My heart aches to pull him out and give him the happiness he deserves.

“Yes,” I answer, my voice strong. “I care about him.”

“Then, you need to give.” I frown, turning my body to face Max. He sighs. “Trust is give and take, kid. You hear anything I said to you? He gave you something, shared his shit with you. If he’s going to trust you, you need to give something back.”

“I don’t…” I shake my head, “… I don’t really have any secrets to share.”

Max snorts out a laugh. “Kid, we all have secrets.” His hand grips the arm of his wheelchair tightly.

A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. “You got secrets, Max?” I see him roll his eyes, and my smile grows. “I’m not a natural blonde,” I whisper, nudging him with my elbow. “Your turn.”

“You’re a pain in my ass,” he responds without looking at me.

I screw up my nose. “That’s a horrible secret.”

“Get lost, kid.”

I soften and smile. “Thanks, Max.”

“Yeah,” I hear him grumble as I stand and head for the door while pulling my cell from my pocket. His number is still there from when I called him in panic from a few nights before. I take a deep breath as I hit dial and press the phone to my ear.

“Speak,” his harsh tone snaps, and I cringe.

“Hey…” I say softly.

Silence meets me for a few seconds. “Lily?”

I nod and then begin to smile, realizing he can’t see me. “Yeah…” I clear my throat, pushing my shoulders back. “… can we talk?”

***

I clutch my handbag against me as I knock on his apartment door.

Scratching and whining on the other side has me smiling, and when the door swings open, Daisy rushes out to greet me, weaving around my legs like she’s doing the slalom.

I giggle and crouch down, scratching behind her ears. “Hey, pretty girl.”

“I was just about to say the same thing.” Kace’s voice sends a shiver down my spine, and I inhale deeply as my eyes lift, moving up his body until I reach his face.

“Hey,” I answer as he steps back, holding the door open for me and gesturing for me to come inside.

Daisy nuzzles at my hand as I push to my feet, offering Kace a small smile in thanks before he closes the door behind us. My eyes wander, and I can’t decide if I should take a seat or stand. Kace decides for me when he leans against the wall with his arms folded across his chest.

“I didn’t expect to hear from you.” His eyes are hard, slightly narrowed as though he’s waiting for some ulterior motive to my visit.

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