Page 35 of Smoke and Mirrors

Bracing my hands against the wall behind me, I straighten my shoulders, holding them square and strong. “Get out,” I growl quietly through clenched teeth.

His body stills, his hand still cupping my cheek gently but frozen against my face. “What?” he asks.

“I can’t take this bullshit right now. I want you to get… o-out.” I hold strong even though my voice is unmistakably shaking.

His hand slams against the wall next to my head, and it takes every ounce of strength I have inside me not to scream and run. “This is not a game!” he forces out, leaning in closer to me. “You wanted to know, and I’ve given you the truth. The truth that could risk the lives of my whole team.”

My heart thuds in my chest, and I struggle to keep my breathing even.

But it’s not because I’m scared. In my head, I know that Kace won’t hurt me.

I can tell he’s angry, furious that I haven’t just accepted his explanation.

“This is ridiculous, why should I believe you?” I argue, standing my ground.

“Think about it. The strange clothes. The odd hours. The people I know. The fact I can get into your apartment through a locked door?”

“That doesn’t prove you’re a spy!”

“The day you saw me in scrubs? I went to the hospital and took out the terrorist who attacked downtown DC two months ago. They said he died from his attack-related injuries… that was a cover-up. I went in and killed him, Lily, for the sake of our country. My team went in and attempted to stop the attack, but as hard as we tried, we couldn’t prevent it. So we aimed to take out the terrorists at the scene. We got them all, except him. So I finished the job. That is what we do, Lily. This is what I do.”

“You expect me to just accept this, Kace?” I ask my bottom lip quivering as I take all of his words in.

He shakes his head, finally taking a step back and allowing me the space I need to take a breath.

I’m freaking out. “Please, just get out,” I plead, unable to fight any longer.

Kace scrubs over his head with his hand, and I catch a glimpse of the man I knew before. The darkness has released him for a moment. He looks up at me, his eyes softer now. I have to fight the urge to go to him.

“Lily, please. You can trust me. I promised I would tell you, and now you know.”

I push off the wall, walking on unsteady feet toward the door. My hand shakes as I reach out and grasp the handle.

“Now you can promise me one more thing,” I murmur as I turn it, stepping to the side as I pull it open and brace myself against the wall. “Stay the fuck away from me.”

“Lily…”

I shake my head. “Please, Kace.”

“If you talk about this to anyone, it could get all of us killed.”

“Don’t worry, I plan to forget this even happened!”

We stare at each other for a moment. He studies me as if to check whether I’m going to crack and spill. The air between us that once seemed so clear is now clouded with fear. As upset as I am, I feel I need to give him the reassurance that he needs. “Your secret is safe, but you need to leave.”

He frowns and exhales, his nostrils flaring with a hint of anger? Remorse? I’m unsure, but he nods, and I watch as he walks forward, each heavy step seeming to pound the stake further into my heart.

It hurts.

It really hurts.

I may not have known who this man was before, but now that I do, all I can think about is how badly I want him to take it back. I was right, Kace is dangerous. Even more dangerous than I’d first anticipated.

Darkness swirls around him like storm clouds.

And inside, I ache to be the sun that will push them away and give him what he needs.

But I’m not sure if I can.

---