Page 68 of Dark Awakening

She wrinkles her brow. “Scared of what?”

I tremble, struggling to find the words to express the turmoil within. “After losing my wife, the light inside me went out," I begin haltingly. "I hardened my heart, vowing never again to let anyone in. I told myself that love is a weakness, and I built up impenetrable walls, determined to shut out all feeling.”

I meet Dani’s eyes apprehensively. “For decades, I kept my promise, remaining cold and detached. Then I met you. From the first moment, something stirred in me—an ember thought long dead. Your inner light called to me, coaxing me back toward life.” I rake my fingers through my hair in frustration. “I tried desperately to resist it. I couldn’t acknowledge these feelings after swearing them off for eternity. But you eroded my defenses, opening my heart when I thought it closed forever.” My voice cracks with emotion. “Dani, you brought color back into my world of gray. Being with you makes me feel truly alive for the first time since my loss. I was too afraid to accept something so beautiful could be real again.”

I reach for her cheek, stroking it gently. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But you broke down all the walls I hid behind. You reopened my heart despite my efforts to freeze it out. With you, I remembered what it was to feel joy, passion...love. You gave me back life when I condemned myself to an eternity of emptiness.”

I meet her eyes beseechingly, praying she understands the full impact she's had on my barren soul.

"So you thought following me around obsessively and imposing yourself into my life against my will would help you understand your 'feelings'?" Sarcasm bites her tone.

I nod, ashamed under her glare. “I used it as a twisted way to make sense of my reaction to you. I couldn’t overlook or explain it.”

Her eyes soften with sorrow. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

I bristle at the sympathy. This isn’t about my past—it’s about comprehending this foreign eruption of passion.

“You unlocked something in me, Danica. Like a dormant volcano, frozen for centuries, that now has molten lava churning uncontrollably.”

She digests my words, tentative understanding dawning. “I’m trying to grasp how one look from you shattered every barrier I built. Your light pierced my darkness instantly.” I rake my hands through my hair, vulnerable and exposed. “I don’t know how else to describe it. The intensity terrifies me even as it compels me beyond reason.”

She arches her body closer to me. “I can’t pretend to understand what you’re experiencing. But I know what it’s like to feel your heart come alive and the fear that it brings.”

Her compassion stimulates long-forgotten stirrings within me. The icy walls inside start to thaw. This is uncharted territory, but the unknown seems less threatening with her by my side.

Danica

35

The gravity of his emotions nearly knocks the air out of my lungs, sending me teetering on the edge of a swoon. My legs quake, threatening to give way as my heart does this weird, sappy swell trick. Words this profound, this soul-shaking—nobody has ever laid anything that heavy on me before. I'm tripping over his sentences, tumbling headlong into a pit of feelings I can't navigate.

The revelation of his self-imposed exile from love and touch since his wife's passing casts a shadow over the sparks he's throwing off. It’s painfully noble yet heart-wrenching. How does he navigate through the tumult of his days, shackled with the weight of such loss? His raw passion, uncorked, it’s like catnip to my senses. And yet, he’s a fortress, wrought from the bedrock of his past, denying even the concept of love after lifetimes of solitude.

After gathering my courage, I ask, "To claim me as your soulmate, you must bite me and exchange blood. Not telling me about the drinks being drugged wasn't a lie; just withholding information while you figured out your feelings? And I'm supposed to understand?"

I feel the anger rising now. "You committed murder, Rhyland! And I helped you steal confidential documents without knowing why. Were you using me? Yet here you are, expecting me to understand all this now?"

Hurt pierces through my outrage. His actions impact me whether he acknowledges it or not. He stares at me with raw longing.

"No, Dani, I don't expect instant comprehension. I'm trying to be honest and open up to you, which has always been hard. I wasn't using you—I hadn't meant for you to get caught up in my feud with Azrael. It just happened."

A shiver runs through me at his whip-like tone, even as some unseen force roots me in place, unable to pull away. Fear and desire war inside me, though paranoia and distrust scream caution. He releases my wrists, and I shake out the tingling sensation. He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me close and fisting my hair to tilt my head back sharply to meet his fiery gaze.

Through clenched teeth, he growls, "And those fuckers deserved what I did to them. No regret for avenging what nearly happened to you, what Max did to other women. I'll always defend you, even if it means slaughter."

My cheeks heat as I recall teasing him at the masquerade ball, daring him to act on his provocative words. I understand his crusade against Azrael's sketchy dealings. But his capacity for brutal violence terrifies me even as it sparks twisted arousal.

What is wrong with me?

Sensing my inner conflict, he softens his grip, smoothing back my hair gently. "I know this is a lot, Angel. But you wanted the truth, all of it. I have fathoms of darkness inside me, but I would never direct it at you."

His tender tone belies his savage words. I'm repulsed, enthralled, alarmed at my own cravings.

"You stir up feelings in me I don't understand," I confess in a small voice. "I should run, but I'm drawn in against all reason."

His thumb caresses my cheek. "Then don't reason—feel. Our bond defies logic."

Is that what this is—a mystical bond? Or have his cryptic ways distorted my sanity? I search his eyes for answers, yet only find more questions.

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