Page 85 of Angel

This was a stupid idea.

I go to start up my ride when a woman walks over. She looks like an older version of Angel. Heeled boots. Leather. “You know, you’ll never get anything accomplished by running away.” She pulls out a cigarette. “Want one?”

I stare back at her. I have no idea what to say. So, I accept her offer, as she flicks her lighter and scorches the end of the smoke.

“I’m not running. Not really.”

“No? Because from where I’m standing, it sure looks that way.” She blows out a puff. “She misses you. I see it. We all see it.” I read her cut: Property of Chain. Now it makes sense.

“I can’t be who she wants or needs me to be.”

“And who exactly does she need you to be?” Taking the tip of her boot, she smashes the cigarette on the ground. “I think that woman in there is strong enough to decide for herself. And I believe she fell in love with you just fine the way you are.”

“I fucked up a lot of things.”

She laughs. “Please, it wouldn’t be life if we didn’t fuck things up once in a while.” With those parting words, she turns around and walks back inside.

I contemplate leaving again. But her, being in there, is like fighting a gravitational pull. I can’t. I can’t leave, no matter how much I think I should. My reason for wanting to exist is that woman. The reason my heart, my soul, isn’t dark anymore—it’s all because of her.

THIRTY

Angel

“I’m pregnant.”

Tequila and I freeze mid-sip. “What!?” We both blurt out in sync.

“Shhh, I don’t want Charger to hear.” Jules looks around, but her man is distracted. He’s talking to the guys and also being oddly secretive.

“Damn. I always knew you’d be the one to start popping out babies like a Pez dispenser,” Tequila jokes.

Jules shrugs. “I love kids. What can I say?”

“Well, congrats. That’s awesome, and we are both so happy for you.”

“Yes,” I agree with a smile. I am happy for her. She’s an amazing person and an even better mom. And Charger? You’d think he was a dad his whole life. A natural-born father.

“What about you two? Ever think about having kids?”

“I don’t know. I mean, maybe one day.” Tequila laughs. “Not really for me right now. Plus, you kind of need a relationship for that.”

Jules elbows me. “What about you, Angel?”

Me, a mom? Yeah, right, maybe in another universe. “Well, there was this whole thing with me being a prostitute-slash-escort so… didn’t really think about it.”

Jules giggles. “That is a good reason.”

“So, you haven’t told anyone yet?” I ask her.

“Nope, and I’d like to keep it that way until I know for sure. I want to take about four more tests before I tell myself it’s real.”

“Lord, your kids are going to be gorgeous. Just look at Chloe.” I smile, because she is a stunning five-year-old. But what would you expect? She’s Charger and Jules’s daughter. Of course she’s gorgeous.

“Thank you.”

I wrap an arm around Jules’s shoulder, and Tequila smiles behind the bar.

“Can I have everyone’s attention?” Charger shouts from the middle of the club, and we all turn.

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