Page 84 of Angel

“Fuck, that’s not what I meant. What I mean is… he thinks he’s no good. Honestly, before everything, I would have said he was fucking right. But now? Now I’m not so sure. But he wants to keep you safe from him—thinks he doesn’t deserve you.”

“Okay, but it still doesn’t mend the hole in my chest.”

He sighs and throws me a towel. “No, you’re right, but I just wanted to let you know it’s not because he doesn’t give a shit about you.” He stands and pats me on the shoulder. “Don’t let it break you. You came way too far. Dust yourself off and get back on the horse.”

I squeeze my lips together to stifle a laugh. “You sound like an eighty-year-old man giving advice.”

“Yeah, I have no idea where the fuck that came from.” He walks away, and a blast of heat from the door floods inside.

“Hey, Tank?” I call out as he holds the door ajar.

“Yeah.”

“Thank you.”

He winks and continues on his way. I flop back down and close my eyes. It feels like I haven’t slept in days. I get a kick to the chest when I think about him. I clench a fist over my heart.

Another swoosh of warm air hits me. “Hey.” Tequila lies down beside me. “Watcha doin’?”

“Oh, nothing. I figure if I lie here long enough, the earth will open up and swallow me whole.”

“Cool, mind if I join ya?”

“I would be honored.” I smile and play with the matted floor beside me. “Hey, T, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Have you ever been in love?” The air grows stale, and I move my head to the side to see Tequila. The cold mat kisses my cheek.

She bites her bottom lip, and her eyebrows furrow. “I don’t know, maybe.” She shrugs. She’s either talking about Throttle or someone she’s never mentioned. For all the years I’ve known her, there’s still so much hidden behind those eyes, just like there was with mine.

As I am about to press her for more, she turns to me. “So, how you holding up?”

I shrug. “It sucks. I mean, of all the guys, why did it have to be him? Why did he have to be the one I fell so hard for?”

“Shit, girl. We don’t get to pick who we fall in love with. That bastard picks itself.”

I sniffle, swiping at a tear. “And apparently, I cry all the time now. So, that’s cool.”

She chuckles and scoots in closer. “Oh, chick, come here.” I rest my head on her shoulder and let the tears fall. I don’t know how long we stay like this, but it feels good to let it out. “Oh, hey, there’s a party tonight. I guess Charger wanted to have it. Don’t know what it’s for.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t strike me as a partier.”

“Welp, Imma go get the bar set up.”

“Aren’t you working out?”

“Nah, all this depressing talk killed my mood. I’ll see ya later.”

A party? I would rather slit my wrists—figuratively speaking of course—than go to a party right now. A funeral? Maybe. But a party? No.

Venom

What the fuck am I doing here?

I flick my ring and stare inside the Steel Valley Chains’ club. It sounds like a party’s going on. I don’t belong here. I shouldn’t be here.

I need to leave.

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