Page 82 of Angel

I release her cheap hair extensions. “Get lost. This one’s taken. And as you can see, he’s clearly not interested.” It takes some time, but my death glare finally takes effect, and the bitch leaves.

Venom gets up, invading my space. Every bit is welcomed though, and dear God, all I want to do is pounce on him. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Were you enjoying that? Because I can bring her back over for you.” Sarcasm, that’s what he’s getting from me.

He grabs my arm and drags me outside, away from prying eyes. Once we’re on the porch, he backs me up against the club wall, and I melt. I fucking melt. Because his body, his heat, his scent, everything. I missed it. It’s all so crippling. I’m consumed, taken, and so fucking over my head.

“That’s not what I meant. I’m not interested in her. What are you doing here, at my club, Angel?”

I pause, succumbing to the crushing, paralyzing moment. Because I just realized this might have been a mistake. “I-I just... I…”

“Go back to the Chains.” He steps away, and I already miss the warmth.

Hang on… “Go? You have got to be fucking kidding me, right? How dare you. If this—this thing that happened between us—isn’t what you wanted, then have some fucking respect and tell me like a man.”

He runs his hand down his face. “I know. Fuck. I know. I’m sorry. But I don’t do this. Don’t you see? I can’t be your boyfriend, Angel. I can’t. Not me. Look at me. I’m already hurting you.”

“You keep hurting me because you can’t get your head out of your ass. Jesus Christ, Deacon, we’re not trying to cure cancer. It’s just us. Just two people who love each other, who want to be together.” Fuck. Did I really admit that?

He freezes. “You love me?”

I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. I swallow back my nerves and inhale. “Yes, you ass. I love you.” I’ve never said that to anyone before.

He doesn’t respond. Instead, he stares, his chest heavy. “Look—”

No. “Never mind, it’s fine. Forget I said anything.” I chew the inside of my cheek to try to stop the tears from leaving.

He grabs my waist, walking me back again, and I let him. I can feel his heat seeping into my pores, and the touch of his hands is torture. “I can’t be what you need. You deserve so much better than this. So much better than me.”

“How can you say that? What I want is you…” My chest hurts. My heart is breaking.

Broken.

Desperate.

Please. Please. Please.

“I will always be here if you need me. Do you understand? I will come running for anything. I will destroy anyone for you. But I have to do it from the sidelines. Not with you.” He runs the pad of his thumb over my cheek, swiping a tear away.

Funny, I didn’t even know I was crying. He’s killing me. Breaking my heart. And I can’t bear it. “So, what? Everything you said, everything you told me. They were all lies?” I sob, the tears flowing like rivers down my cheeks.

We stand there, he flicks his ring, and I cry. No words, just silence.

I reach out and cup his hands with mine, stopping his nervous habit. “I would have taken your pain away too. Had you let me.”

He swallows, staring at our joined hands, and the warmth floods my chest.

I jump when the door flies open, and the hang-around I plucked off Venom struts out, laughing with another member. “He doesn’t seem to be interested, sweetheart.” She chuckles, and I lose it.

“What did you say?” I barrel past Venom and lunge for her. I want to rip her hair out. Claw at her eyes. I hate her. I hate everything about her right now. But I don’t make it. Just as I’m about to gouge her eyes out, Venom picks me up and launches me over his shoulder.

I pound on him, my fists hitting his stone back. “Put me down!” He doesn’t say anything. “I said. Put. Me. Down. Right now!” Still nothing. He carries me all the way to my bike, finally setting me to the ground, but I’m met with more silence. I shudder, my stomach twisting in knots. “Did you even mean it? What you said back in Florida? Do you even love me?” When again he doesn’t respond, I fist his shirt and cry out, “Answer me!” My chest hurts; it physically aches.

He leans a hand on my bike, while he moves a strand of hair from my lip. “It’s complicated.” He winces, and I know he’s lying.

And all I am right now is shattered.

Damaged.

---