Page 47 of Charger

“Outside, now.”

At the sound of his growl, it’s like I have no control; my body just moves. I yell to one of the waitresses, asking her to cover for me. I tell Joe that it’s fine and before I know it, I’m following Zach out the back door.

As soon as the screen door shuts, I’m backed up against the brick wall. His hands are softly pressed on my arms just above my elbows. With hardly any room between us, he scans my face, my body. “Does that shit happen a lot?” He grinds his teeth together.

I swallow. “Yes, I’m a bartender. Of course, it does. But I can take care of myself. I don’t need you fighting my battles like we’re back in high school.”

His chest expands, his eyes darting between mine. Inching forward, he brushes his nose on my cheek, then he hovers just above my lips. “You’re still so fucking beautiful.”

Our lips almost touch and I can’t help but part them slightly. Like I’m inviting him in. Does he taste the same? Does his mouth feel the same? My bottom teeth capture my lip. The heat rises in my body, soaking the area between my thighs. Because my neck is exposed from my hair being pulled up, his breath tickles my skin. I close my eyes, trying to imagine what it would feel like if he made the connection, his lips on me. Such a desirable thing. I want it, need it. But the cool night air is the only thing I feel against my skin.

Zach’s warm body, which was shielding me moments ago, is gone. I catch my breath, watching as his attention focuses on the ground. I’m disappointed he backed away, but nothing can keep me from admiring how good he looks. How sexy, how powerful.

“You look good too,” I tell him. He picks his head up. “I mean, you know, you look…” I pause. “Bigger.” I mentally roll my eyes at myself. He smirks. “So why are you here, Zach? Is it really just to talk?”

“I wanted to see you. I told you inside… you didn’t answer my texts, so that’s why I’m here.”

“I just didn’t know what to say. You left me with a lot to process. I had quite a bit of emotions to try to deal with. I mean, blaming me for my brother’s death is a pretty big fucking thing.” Crossing my arms over my chest, I can feel the emotions resurfacing. I’ve always been one to wear them on my sleeve. Sitting nice and pretty. Front and center, with a flashing neon sign.

“Fuck, Jules, I messed up. I’m not the same kid from high school in so many ways. But I can tell you this. I blamed you so I didn’t have to blame myself. That’s why I did it. I was fucked up and I am so sorry.” The sincerity in his voice is real. The sadness in his eyes is real. “And I want to be active in Chloe’s life, Jules. Don’t keep her away from me.”

My heart strings are playing tug of war. “No, Zach, I would never purposely keep you from her. It’s just… I need time to tell Chloe.”

“You had time, Jules. Five years. You had five years.” I want to argue, but I don’t. He’s not wrong. But, on the other hand…

“That’s not entirely fair.”

He sighs, stepping closer to me once again. “I know, fuck.” He runs his hand through the longer part of his hair. He’s kept his hairstyle the same. I love when his loose bangs fall against his face. “I’m not sure how to do this. This whole dad thing. Co-parenting thing. I just found out I have a daughter so my emotions are all over the place too. Just don’t shut me out like I did to you.”

All I can do is nod my head yes. We stand like that for a minute before he nods back, then trudges off through the front parking lot. I exhale the breath I have been holding for what feels like a century.

Charger

I start up my bike, not wanting to leave, but needing to remove myself from a situation that makes me a weak fucking man. It’s taking all of me not to throw her over my shoulder and walk that perfect ass upstairs.

Gripping my fist around my handlebars, I think about that fucker who was giving Jules shit. He was lucky. Had he touched her, he would have been dead. Is this the kind of bullshit she deals with while owning this place? Fuck.

I catch a single small headlight in the distance, my body on high alert when I realize it’s a bike. Whoever it is, they were just scoping out Jules’s bar. The bike makes a quick turnaround then takes off. I don’t recognize the ride. So, it couldn’t have been one of our guys. Then who the fuck was it?

NINETEEN

Jules

“Chloe Star, what in the world are you doing, girl?” Watching my daughter, I honestly wish I knew what was going through her mind sometimes.

“I wanted to be as pretty as you, Mommy.”

Chuckling, I bend down and pick her up into my arms. My red lipstick, which I didn’t even remember owning, is now drawn all over Chloe’s face. “Okay, Joker, how about we scrub this stuff off your face.”

“Joker?” Her small face looks at me like she has no idea what I’m talking about.

“Never mind, you’re too young.” With her tiny frame still in my arms, I walk her to the bathroom. I set her on the counter, running a washcloth under the water.

“Where in the world did you find this lipstick anyway, little bug?”

“It was in a box… with this.” Chloe holds up a necklace. A star necklace. The star necklace.

With the washcloth still in my hand, I freeze, studying the dangling charm. I haven’t looked at that necklace in years. I wore it for almost two years after graduation, but thinking that I would probably never see Zach again, I couldn’t bear to wear it any longer. It hurt too much.

---