Page 40 of Until We Weren't

“There’s storage underneath the bed,” Faith said, “and a tiny closet for hanging clothes next to the bathroom.”

Destiny paused for a moment to take in the small bedroom. It was neat and tidy just like Faith, but something about the room gave Destiny a feeling of loneliness. She suddenly had an overwhelming urge to grab Faith and hold her to drive out that sensation. Destiny wheeled around and found Faith smiling at her, holding out a beer.

“Here you go,” Faith said.

“Thanks.” Destiny made sure her fingers grazed Faith’s when she took the bottle. For whatever reason she needed Faith to feel her touch. The idea of Faith’s loneliness tore at Destiny’s heart. She knew there were many times in Faith’s life when it had just been her and no one else. Destiny never wanted to be the reason for emptiness in Faith’s heart.

“Let’s sit out here,” Faith said.

Destiny followed her out of the house and tried to shake the feelings swirling around her heart. “Do you like living back here?” she asked as they settled into the chairs.

“Uh, it was the best solution at the time.” Faith shrugged. “You know how hard it is to get a business started. I was here all the time anyway.”

“Yeah, it is,” Destiny said. “I had no idea, but it was better than staying where I was.”

“You know, looking back, I loved my job, but I’m not sure the Galloways’ competition thing was a good way to encourage employee unity,” Faith said.

“Yeah, I don’t do anything like that with my teams,” Destiny said.

“You were right when you called me a perfectionist, but I couldn’t afford not to be,” Faith explained.

“Oh, I get it. When it’s your money and you don’t have any to spare you can’t make mistakes.”

Faith nodded and sipped her beer.

“I still can’t believe everything you told me last night,” Destiny began. “There’s nothing I’d like more than to erase the last three years, but it makes me wonder if we knew each other as well as we thought.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I had no idea you thought you weren’t good enough for me. That tells me that I didn’t show you just how much I loved you and how truly lucky I felt every day that I got to spend my life with you. I should’ve known. No wonder you didn’t talk to me about the video.”

“You can’t take the blame, Destiny. I didn’t open up. I knew I could trust you. I knew it, but chose not to. That’s on me, not you.”

“But I knew how hard it was for you,” Destiny said, shaking her head. “I thought we were happy. At least I was.”

“I was, too, but something inside me kept saying it wouldn’t last,” Faith said. “It was just a matter of time before you realized I wasn’t good enough and moved on.”

Destiny groaned. “Stop saying that!” She put her hands over her face then looked over at Faith. “I understand why you don't trust anyone, but why can’t you trust yourself, Faith?” Tears sprang to Destiny’s eyes and she quickly blinked them back before they could fall. “You knew I loved you,” she said with desperation in her voice. “I could see it in your heart. My love was there, you felt it. I could see it in your eyes when you looked at me.”

“I can see it now,” Faith said softly. “You still love me. We can do this, Des.”

Destiny sighed. “We can do it until the doubts creep in again. Then you’ll leave me and I won’t have a heart left. The only reason I stayed in Austin was because I knew you were here. It hurt, but it also soothed my soul to see you occasionally, even if you couldn’t meet my eyes. Even if the things you said were laced with animosity. If we got back together and you did this again, I told you I won’t survive, Faith.”

Faith got up and knelt in front of Destiny. “I won’t do this again, Des. I promise. I know now! I knew all along, but I believe in myself now. I’ve always believed in you. That was easy, but I didn’t believe I could be the person you needed, the person you should be with.”

“It’s not for you to decide who I need or should be with,” Destiny said, raising her voice.

“I know that.” Faith got up and walked a few steps away then turned back to Destiny. “You remember how crazy my thinking can be. How distorted it becomes at times.”

“But that stopped when we fell in love,” Destiny said. “That’s what you told me.”

“It did,” Faith said. “But then as we began to talk about starting our own business and landscaping our way…”

“The doubts came back,” Destiny said.

Faith nodded. “We had dreams, but I couldn’t see myself in them,” she said. “Until last night.”

Destiny looked Faith in the eyes and saw a resolve she’d never seen before. Faith could show confidence when they were talking about landscaping, but this was different. “What do you mean?”

---