Page 25 of Until We Weren't

“I’m not surprised. She didn’t want to do the hard stuff to own your own company. She wanted to run someone else’s.”

“She gave me the strangest look when I said hello to her,” Faith said. “Now I know why.”

“I’m not sure what I’ll do the next time I see her.” Destiny blew out an exasperated breath. She was angry with Gloria, but it wasn’t entirely her fault that all this happened.

Faith reached over and grabbed Destiny’s hand. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.

Destiny looked over and could see tears swimming in Faith’s eyes. Suddenly Destiny jumped up and went to the window. She closed her eyes and tried to make sense of this entire fucked up situation.

She was stuck in a small shack with dogs ready to attack if they opened the door and she’d just found out that the reason the woman she loved had left her was because of a case of mistaken identity. Are you fucking kidding me! Destiny wanted to scream, but instead she turned to Faith.

“Why couldn’t you tell me!” Destiny exclaimed. “Hell, why couldn’t you tell Mark, or tell anybody! If you would have just said something then we’d be together right now.”

Faith dropped her head and closed her eyes. “I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” Destiny asked. When Faith looked at her with desperation in her eyes Destiny knew it was about trust. “Oh no, Faith, I know how hard it is for you to trust people. That’s why I showed you over and over you were safe with me. You fell in love with me and you knew you could trust me.”

“Maybe we can fix this, Destiny,” Faith implored her in a hopeful voice.

Destiny’s eyes widened and her heart sank. “How?” she asked with tears in her eyes. “If this happens again, I won’t survive it. I trusted you.”

“I messed up,” Faith said. “I’ve always trusted you and knew I could. I can’t trust myself because I’m so fucked up, but I’ll work on it, Des. Until I can trust myself, I know to trust you. Of course you would have never done anything like that to me, but the video was so real. Why didn’t I come to you and ask? Because I was afraid it was true! If you had told me you did that to my face I don’t think I’d have made it. That would’ve been it for me.”

“Did you ever think I would’ve told you it wasn’t me?”

“I knew that’s what you’d say because that’s what any guilty person says. See how fucked up my thinking is?” Faith paced around the small room. “Now I’m devastated again because of what’s happened and all I can think about is making it right.” She stopped in front of Destiny and took her hands in hers. “All I can think about is giving you all this love I have inside me before it blows me up.”

“Faith…”

“I know, it’s not on you to save me. You did once before. What if we have the beautiful life we were talking about before I destroyed us? Don’t you think we can still get there? I know you still love me. Give me a chance to show you.”

Tears were falling down Destiny’s cheeks now. “How could you ever think I would do something like that to you? I know you were hurt in the past, Faith, but all I did was love you. My love obviously wasn’t enough.”

“It was! It is!” Faith yelled. “It’s me, Destiny. I’m the fucked up one. Why you ever wanted to be with me is unimaginable.”

“Because I love you!” Destiny screamed back.

The dogs began to bark outside the building and Destiny reached for the doorknob.

Faith grabbed her arm. “Stop! They’ll hurt you!”

Destiny groaned and bent over putting her face in her hands. “I can’t fucking believe this!” she screamed.

“I know,” Faith said, gently placing her hand on Destiny’s back.

It would be so easy to take Faith into her arms. She desperately wanted Faith to hold her, but what good would that do? Destiny couldn’t believe Faith thought she could do something so terrible.

She remembered one evening as they watched the sunset, Faith talked about her parents. She told Destiny that when her parents would miss important events in her life she would convince herself that they had a good reason. When she got home and found out they simply didn’t want to be there for her it would put another wound in her heart. Faith explained to Destiny that that’s why her heart was nothing but scars.

“When I met you,” Faith said, “the very first time you smiled at me, I felt my heart begin to soften.

Destiny smiled, holding Faith’s hand. “The scars may always be there, but there’s room in your heart for my love. I can feel it.”

“Oh, your love is there, but what’s even more amazing is that you made me able to love again. Just as we create beautiful landscapes together, we have made a love like nothing I’ve ever known.”

“You can trust our love, babe,” Destiny said.

As Destiny remembered that conversation she could just imagine the thoughts in Faith’s head when she saw that video. She must have felt so betrayed.

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