Page 55 of Wild Fires

This time the knob turned, and I squealed as the door flung open. The only thing I had in my hand was a beer and a lighter. I didn't want to waste my beer, so I chucked the lighter at my intruder instead.

“Ow. Knock it off, Gracie.”

I stared back at a very naked Ryan.

How much had I had to drink?

“Ryan?”

“Hi.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” I yelled.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Not enough.”

“What are you doing?”

“What am I doing? Why are you even here?”

I watched him cringe away from my harsh words. But he was naked, and I wanted him to make it all better so badly that I wasn't even willing to give him the chance to try. And the worst part of all was that I knew I was pushing him away.

I was terrified of what it meant to be a true mate—that one perfect person for someone. Not just someone, but him. I wasn't perfect. A fun fling was one thing, but the thought of forever freaked me out.

But he looked so good standing there thinking through the words he wanted to say.

“Are you okay?” he finally asked.

His calm voice was just pissing me off even more.

“Do I look okay?”

“No.”

I snorted. “Where the hell were you all day, Ryan?”

I didn't mean to ask that. I hadn't planned on it. I knew I shouldn't, but it had just come bumbling out anyway.

I hated the pain I saw in his eyes.

I was hurting him.

Well good.

It was insane that I had that sort of power over him. Why would he even care? No one ever really cared. I trusted the guys I worked with to have my back, just as I had theirs, but outside the firehouse I was entirely on my own. They had lives of their own. It was why I worked so much.

Now here was the one man that should be mine. And yet I couldn't even let myself be happy about that because I couldn’t trust him to always be there. Even my own parents had failed me in that department.

“I'm sorry I didn't come by sooner. Apparently, I passed out and slept all day. If you could call it sleep, more like nightmares.”

“Nightmares about being mated to me?”

“Nightmares about watching you die over and over.”

“I told you I couldn’t die from fire.”

“You failed to mention that was because you’re a phoenix. How did that not hurt you? It killed me to see you go through that and you didn't even scream or cry or anything.”