Page 8 of A River of Crows

Sloan’s heart clenched at the sound of her father’s name. She walked into the kitchen. “How are you on groceries?”

“The Dawsons brought me a few things. I can make do.”

Sloan stepped into the pantry. It had always been full growing up. They were never rich, but they always had enough. Sloan remembered her mother’s obsessiveness about the order of the pantry. After they bought groceries, Caroline would take everything out of its box and put it into plastic containers. Cereal had white lids, crackers blue. Labeled cans for flour, sugar, coffee, and tea. Canned goods in rows, spices organized alphabetically. “You’ll learn soon enough, Lo,” her mom once said when Sloan asked her why she bothered. “There is so very little this man-made world allows women to have control of. The pantry is one of them, so I figure I might as well take advantage.” Sloan didn’t understand then, but she did now. She understood a lot more now. Like what led her mom to knock all those orderly cans to the ground that long-ago night. She understood why she’d taken the time to remove each lid off its plastic container and fling its contents across the floor. She even understood why her mother had lied to her about why she did it. “I’m just missing my daddy,” Mom had told her. Sloan’s granddad had died a few months before. Sloan missed him too. So much that she understood the need to break something. So, she’d gone to bed without even realizing that night had been the beginning of the end.

Sloan drove an hour to Tyler for groceries. Mallowater only had one grocery store. She might have found everything she needed there but would have found plenty she didn’t need too. Plenty of eyes boring into her, plenty of questions she didn’t want to answer. She could be inconspicuous in Tyler. And it afforded her another couple of hours that she didn’t have to be locked inside that tiny house with her mother. Sloan wondered how she’d get through a week, much less an entire summer. She needed to get Caroline back in that home, and fast.

Sloan took her time at Wal-Mart. She didn’t have a list, so she wandered down every aisle, trying to guess what her mother might eat. Halfway down the cereal aisle, she paused, trying to decide between something sensible and something chocolate, when someone stopped behind her. Not Noah, she thought. Anybody but Noah.

She grabbed a box of Cocoa Puffs and continued to walk. The person behind her moved too. Sloan sped up. By the time she reached the end of the aisle, the other cart had stopped again. She laughed at herself for being paranoid. Other people needed cereal. Noah wouldn’t be in Tyler. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from turning to make sure.

She saw the red hair first, made even more vivid under the bright fluorescent lighting. Sloan’s blood and all its heat settled in her face. She stood frozen, staring at Felicity as Timbaland’s “Apologize” blared through the store’s speakers. As much as she hadn’t wanted to see Noah, this was worse. Of all the stores in Tyler, of all the aisles.

Felicity’s oversized, cartoon princess eyes grew even wider as she stood staring back at Sloan. She opened her mouth, then closed it again, like Sloan was a sea witch who’d stolen her voice.

Sloan pulled at her purse with shaky hands. Once she had it, she took a step backward and then froze. The entire store spun.

“Sloan? Are you okay?”

Sloan didn’t even realize she had unstuck her feet until she found herself running out of the store. She fumbled with her keys to unlock her car door, praying it would start the first time. She let out the breath she’d been holding when the engine roared to life. Coming to Tyler had been a mistake with them living here. She guessed there really was no place for her to hide anymore.

Chapter 4

Mallowater, TX, 1988

It surprised Sloan to find her dad waiting for her in the school’s office. “What are you doing here?”

He smiled that megawatt smile Jay Hadfield was famous for. It lit him up, making his blue eyes sparkle. How could a man with a smile that big and eyes that blue ever choke anyone?

“Thought I’d bust you out of here early today.”

Sloan looked down the hallway. “What about Ridge?”

“Another time. I wanted to talk to you alone. How about a dipped cone and a drive?”

“Okay.” Sloan pointed at the lined sheet on the counter. “You gotta sign me out.”

Sloan should have been thrilled to miss school, to spend time with her dad alone, but the air was heavy with anticipation of the difficult conversation she sensed was awaiting her.

“Mom said you had a meeting in Longview today.” Sloan kept her eyes out the window as they pulled out of the school parking lot.

Daddy turned down the radio. “Meetings can be moved. Work can wait.”

“Oh.” Sloan took in a breath. “Is this about last night?”

He nodded. “I get you don’t want to talk about it, Sloan. You and I are a lot alike. We’re forgetters, you and me, just want to move on. That’s not always a bad thing, but I’m sure you have questions about what happened. This was the second really bad one.” He touched her shoulder. “I bet you’re a little scared.”

A single tear leaked from Sloan’s eye. She closed her eyes to stop the rest. “I’m not scared now, but it was scary then.”

“I bet.” Daddy tapped the steering wheel. “Remember how I told you I fought in Vietnam?”

“Yes,” Sloan whispered. “That’s why you don’t like fireworks. Why you have bad dreams.”

“It’s more than bad dreams, baby. I saw some terrible things. I did some terrible things. Things even an old forgetter like me can’t forget.”

“Will you ever get better?” Sloan asked.

“Maybe. Your mom thinks I need to see a doctor, and I’m going to. I’ve always had bad dreams, but this is the second time I’ve attacked your mother.” Daddy tugged at his ear. “You understand, I’d never hurt her, never hurt any of you, not if I was thinking straight.”

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