Page 33 of A River of Crows

Noah stared at the floor. He wasn’t one to fight with his parents; plus, they were right. Sloan had been here all summer and had probably worn out her welcome.

She grabbed her backpack. “I’ll see you later, Noah.”

“Wait.” Walt held up his hand. “It’s not that we don’t want you here. It’s just that your mother . . . well, she needs you right now.”

Sloan struggled with the backpack. “Mom doesn’t even talk to me.”

“Caroline is grieving,” Doreen explained.

“She hasn’t even cried.”

Doreen took Sloan’s hand. “Grief comes in stages. And denial is the first one.”

Sloan freed her hand to swat away a tear. Maybe she cried enough for her and her mother both. “And what’s the next stage?”

“Anger, I think. But not everyone goes through them in the same order.”

Anger. Sloan understood a little about that. But even though her father deserved her resentment, much of her anger was focused on her mom. Her mom who believed Daddy had killed Ridge. Her mom who expected Sloan to believe it too.

“Do y’all have groceries?” Walt asked, already reaching for his wallet.

“Yeah, we’re good,” Sloan said. Caroline hadn’t been to the store in a while, but food was still in the pantry. And though her mom claimed to be looking for jobs, Sloan hadn’t seen her fill out a single application in the almost three months since the verdict. Not that anyone in town would hire her anyway. No one would even look at them.

“Noah, walk Sloan home,” Doreen said.

“No, it’s okay,” Sloan said. “You guys are about to eat.”

“I have time,” Noah said too eagerly.

Sloan said a half-hearted goodbye to Doreen and Walt before letting Noah lead her out the door.

“Sorry you can’t stay,” Noah said.

Sloan kicked the gravel. “Your parents are right. I can’t avoid Mom forever.”

“You can avoid her all Saturday afternoon, though,” Noah said.

“Saturday?”

Noah’s face fell. “My birthday. You’re still coming, right?”

His birthday. Sloan had forgotten. She thought back to Noah’s birthday party last year. How she’d promised Ridge she’d go with him but backed out at the last minute when her friends invited her to watch Cocktail. When Daddy discovered her plans, he’d made Sloan cancel with her friends and keep her word to Ridge. She’d sulked the entire party, angry she was at a Transformers birthday and not watching Tom Cruise. She wished she’d known her time with Ridge was about to run out and that those so-called friends wouldn’t even speak to her one year later.

Noah cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’ll try,” Sloan said. She loved being around Noah, but it was the idea of the other party guests that gave her pause. The only advantage of being locked up with her mom all summer was avoiding her classmates. “What do you want for your birthday?”

“I want you to come,” Noah said softly.

“Fine.” Sloan nudged him off the path. “I’ll be there.”

Sloan woke up Saturday in a restless mood. Despite barely sleeping, she wanted to be out of this bed, out of this house, out of her own skin.

She stared at a closed dresser drawer. The second copy of Keith Whitley’s new tape was inside. Daddy’s copy. Sloan had been first in line Tuesday and had been listening nonstop. The album was incredible, but knowing this was the last music Keith would ever make made every note he sang bittersweet.

Sloan was scheduled to visit her dad next Friday, but that seemed too long with that tape inside the dresser, so she decided to call Anna. She sometimes wondered if she was bothering her father’s friend, but Anna had promised to take Sloan anytime she wanted, and she wanted to go today. She’d have to come up with something to tell Mom, though. Noah’s party didn’t start till 3:00, and just last night, she’d told Sloan she was spending too much time with the Dawsons, echoing Walt’s words.

Sloan found her mom reading in the living room. “Can I go to the mall?”

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