Page 46 of A River of Crows

“Yeah, I do.” Sloan straightened her back against the hard kitchen chair. “I can fill you in if it’s a lead you want to pursue with me. Felicity wants to help, but it’s probably best not to bring her into Eddie’s world.”

There was a good minute of silence. Sloan would have thought they’d been disconnected if not for the hum of the copy machine in the background.

“Brad?” she finally said.

“Okay, I’m in,” he said in a harsh whisper. “I’m all in.”

Sloan drove to the prison alone, Keith Whitley’s tape blaring and the windows down. She wasn’t ready for this. But she never would be. Brad was doing his part in trying to set up a meeting with Daughtry; she needed to do what she agreed to do.

She reminded herself that it was better to visit him here in prison. There were rules—spaces and times were defined.

Yet, as soon as she sat in the waiting room, it felt like a terrible idea. All the memories, fears, and confusion she’d experienced on her last visit flooded back. She had promised her father she’d be back Friday. A Friday that never came. Sloan heard a roaring in her ears and lost track of what the guard was telling her. She was eyeing the room for an exit when she spotted her father being escorted into the room.

Sloan froze at the sight of him. He was older, grayer, with deep wrinkles around his eyes. Rectangular glasses sat a bit too low on his nose. His arms were bigger, and his hair was longer—but it was her dad. The sight of him made her angry and homesick at the same time.

“Sloan!” Jay’s voice shook. He stepped forward, holding out his arms. Sloan took a step backward. She caught the pained expression on her father’s face, but he recovered quickly. “I didn’t expect you to come. Bradley told me, but I didn’t let myself believe it till I saw you.”

Sloan couldn’t help but smile at her father’s voice. “You may look different, but you sound the same.”

Jay laughed as they sat. “I’ve even got my Jersey cellmate speaking with a southern drawl.”

“Well, I’d recognize your voice anywhere.”

“I know what you mean.” Her father leaned forward as if he were going to tell her a secret. “I was a little worried I wouldn’t be able to spot you when they brought me in. It’s been a long time, but my eyes moved right to you, like a magnet.” He adjusted his glasses. “Those eyes, I could pick ’em out of a lineup. They’re your mother’s eyes.”

Sloan pushed her tongue into her cheek. “This is hard. I don’t know how to let it all go.”

“Understood.” Her father’s voice came as soft as his blue-eyed gaze. “I never expected you or your mother to forgive me. Nor Anna and the other kids. Kyle and I didn’t speak for years. He even changed his last name.”

Blood rushed to Sloan’s head at the mention of Anna and her children. She leaned away from the table. “How could you do that to us all?”

Jay raised his hands and let them fall. “I was selfish. Young. Stupid. I loved Anna, but your mother . . .” He smiled as though remembering. “Instant electricity.” He snapped his fingers. “I told myself it was only an affair, but I couldn’t let Caroline go.”

“And you thought you could keep two women, keep two families forever?”

“No. It was always my plan to leave Anna. I swear, I tried. But she’s a saint. I couldn’t hurt her.”

“In retrospect, don’t you think it would have hurt her less if you left her then? Before all that came after?”

“Probably.” Jay raised his chin. “But despite everything, we’ve been happy together. We are still happy. I’m sure that’s difficult for you to hear, but Anna is my wife, and till death do us part, she will be.”

Sloan crossed her arms. “And so, Mom was what?”

“The love of my life,” her father answered. “I think of Caroline all the time.”

“Wow.” Sloan heard the edge in her laughter. “Do you realize how selfish you sound?”

“Of course I do.” Her father scrubbed his hands over his face. “Try to put yourself in my shoes. That last letter you sent said you were getting married. Well, imagine that today somebody walked into your life, and you connected.” He snapped his fingers again. Right person, wrong time. Could you just let him go?”

Sloan’s mind went to Dylan, and her cheeks burned. “Yes, I could.” She held up her left hand, displaying her empty ring finger. “Not that I’d have to.”

Jay inflated his cheeks like balloons. “Sorry. I didn’t know.”

“You’d relate to him.” Sloan’s tone was scathing. “Liam met someone else, and there was just a connection.” She mockingly snapped her fingers. “At least he had the decency to divorce me instead of attempting some sort of polygamist lifestyle.”

Jay brought a hand to his chest. “I make no excuses for anything I’ve done. I’ve considered a million times how different my life would be now if I hadn’t taken that business trip.”

“You should have divorced Anna—given us all a chance at normal lives.”

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