Page 97 of Rivals Next Door

The fury burning in his eyes made me duck my head.

“We could have avoided years of hurt and resentment, Liv,” he sighed. “If you had just said something…”

I guess we were going to skip over the whole pregnancy thing and how he took my company from me to delve back into the past. It was due time, and perhaps it was for the best.

I looked up at him. “If I had just said something, huh? Like it would have been that easy. The look in your eyes back then… would you have believed me if I came to you later and said I didn’t mean all the things I said?”

His jaw clenched as he glared daggers at me, but then his expression softened and his shoulders relaxed. “No… I guess I wouldn’t have.”

“Well, there you have it. I thought it was pointless to tell you the truth. I knew you wouldn’t have believed me.” A lump of emotions formed in my throat, and I couldn’t speak. I just gazed at him as I went through the familiar regret and sadness that had been a part of my life for so long.

My eyes filled with tears. “I’m the one who should be sorry. If I were braver, willing to stand up to Dad, we would have…”

I wasn’t sure what we would have been, but I knew he wouldn’t have grown to hate me enough to want to destroy me years later. “He threatened to get you kicked out of Harvard if I didn’t stop seeing you. You were in your last year, you were doing so well, and you had big plans…”

The memories rose to stifle me, and I choked out a sob. Alex released a long sigh that resonated with what sounded like the same regret I felt. Maybe he was reliving that night too…

I had invited him to one of Mom’s many soirées because although Dad hated that I wasn’t dating someone in our circle, I didn’t care. I was so in love, and I had hopes that Dad would get to know Alex and love him just as Mom and Liam did.

When Dad found out who my date was for the night, he’d been livid. He said he didn’t want “that boy” in his house or near his daughter. He went on to shock me with news that he’d done a background check on my boyfriend and that he was bad news.

I argued that it didn’t matter that Alex grew up on the so-called “wrong side of the tracks.” He was the most amazing guy I’d ever been with, and he treated me with the love and respect that the assholes in our circle never did.

Taking a deep breath, I recanted the details of that night and my conversation—a shouting match, really—with my father.

“He would have ruined you, Alex…” I said miserably as I looked into his eyes, beseeching him to see things from my perspective.

My father wasn’t having any of it. He told me to stop seeing Alex or he’d have a chat with his good friend, the dean of Harvard Business. According to Dad, he’d ensure that Alex’s academic career would be obliterated, and he’d be blackballed in the business world for the rest of his life.

In my defiance, I told Dad that I was going to stay with Alex and marry him. He shocked me with news that he knew about Alex working under fake identification since he was eighteen. I had stopped fighting then because I knew that if he dug any deeper, he’d probably find way more shit than Alex just working underaged at a bar.

“I was afraid he’d find out about your… other activities. He’d likely have you thrown in jail forever, Alex. My dad was… I saw him practically bury his opponents before. I had to protect you. Dad promised he’d leave you alone and forget about you if I ended things with you that very night and never saw you again.”

Alex had placed a chair directly in front of mine and dropped into it as I recounted the past. As he stared at me, I noted that he looked a little pale, as if he was as nauseous as I felt.

“You were very… cruel,” he said. “The things you said… maybe a tiny part of you believed them. Did a part of you think I wasn’t good enough for you, Liv? Maybe you had really thought about spilling my secrets if I didn’t get out of your house and never come near you again.”

I was sick to my stomach as the words I’d thrown at him echoed in my mind. “I told you I was breaking up with you, Alex, and you wouldn’t accept it. If I hadn’t gotten nasty about it, you never would have let me go. You know, I’m right. You were relentless, and I was desperate for you to leave before Dad saw you.”

He huffed as he leaned back in his chair and studied the floor.

“I never would have told anyone about the things you did to survive,” I continued when he didn’t say a word. “And I’ve never thought of you as a criminal or someone beneath me. You’re the most compassionate, pure-hearted guy I know. Even when you’re not on your best behavior, it’s because you’re helping someone.” I’d always loved that about him… among the long list of other things there was to love. “I was only trying to protect you, I swear.”

“I know,” he growled, which confused me.

“Then why do you still look so angry?”

“I was going to propose to you that night!”

A hush fell over the room. Alex and I were frozen, just staring at each other. My heart dropped, and I could have sworn the ground was ripped out from under me. My mind spiraled as I finally understood why Alex had harbored so much resentment. Even though my intentions were pure when I broke things off abruptly, he didn’t know that and I just found out that I hurt him more than I had even imagined.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I took a shaky breath. “Oh… Alex… I didn’t…”

The slightest hint of color bloomed in his cheeks as he shot up from his chair and walked to the window that overlooked Boston. I stared at his back, my mind still reeling as I gave him time to compose himself.

Finally, he turned to me and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I had everything planned,” he said, his voice heavy with sorrow, which delivered a punch to my gut.

“You had been expressing worry about me graduating soon and leaving you.” He smiled slightly, but it was a sad one. “As if I’d ever do something that stupid.”

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