Page 71 of Rivals Next Door

She guffawed. “I am. You’ve almost graduated from your prude status.”

After a beat of silence, I laughed. I could always count on her to find humor even in the most serious situations. “He declared that it was a mistake the next morning,” I continued. “I didn’t think it would ever happen again. Then we hung out the other night and one thing led to another…”

Elena’s expression turned somber. “Did he say that time was a mistake too?”

I shrugged. “He sure acted like it was the next morning. The thing is, I was pulled back into that bubble I was in with him before and it felt good. It was amazing. It was as if we hadn’t missed a beat, as if we didn’t have a terrible breakup and almost a decade passed. I realized that I wanted him back in my life. Knowing that it will never happen hurts so much.”

“How do you know it won’t happen?”

“He’s wary. I can see the skepticism and flickers of resentment in his eyes from time to time. He doesn’t trust me, and he never will. I hurt him really badly when we broke up, Elena.” Sheer regret triggered something inside me and tears that I didn’t typically shed in front of others spilled down my cheeks. “I messed up and spiraled back into love with my ex who can’t stand me.”

Elena gawked at me. “Jesus, Livy. I’ve never seen you cry before,” she breathed.

“I made it back into the nook,” I wail miserably.

“The what?”

“The nook,” I repeated, dashing my tears away with agitation. “When he holds onto me with one arm, and I’m pressed against him with my face buried between his neck and shoulder. That’s the nook. That’s the place where I feel loved and safe.” I shuffled in my seat to show her how I curled up against Alex and rested in the nook, but she just stared at me as if I’d lost my mind.

“I see,” she says.

Rolling my eyes, I figured that maybe I did look crazy. I turned back around with a sigh. “It doesn’t matter. I might never make it into the nook again and it breaks my heart.”

“I’m sorry,” she says, reaching over the console to rest her hands on top of mine. I smiled when she gave my hand a comforting squeeze.

“Me too,” I murmured.

“Are you ever going to tell me why you broke things off with Alex? I mean, you’re still madly in love with him. I can’t imagine why you decided to end it.”

Shame instantly flooded me, and my eyes darted away from hers. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her and let her know what a coward I was. “It was just something I had to do…” I murmured, which made things sound so ominous. Well, I supposed the details were a bit gloomy.

Elena’s eyes narrowed on me, and I changed the subject. “I have to put my emotions aside and focus on working with Alex,” I declared.

“Wait…” She canted her head. “What do you mean work with him?”

I lifted my shoulders. “We can’t let Weaver get away with being a criminal. He’s endangering lives.”

“True, he must be stopped,” Elena agreed. That tenacious journalist glint was already forming in her eyes.

“And you’re going to be the one to write that expose.”

“Hell, yeah I am.”

“With Alex’s help…”

Elena's hype immediately died down. “Erm… Jeez, Livy, are you sure you want us to run around being The Avengers with your ex-boyfriend whom you’ve just admitted that you’re not over? Won’t that be uncomfortable?”

I snorted at The Avengers bit. “We need all the facts, and it will be impossible to get them without him. Besides, I sort of promised Raymond Walters that I’d prove his innocence, and I can’t do that without Alex, so…”

Elena stared at me open-mouthed and then shook her head. “I hope this doesn’t cause you any more hurt.”

“It won’t. I can put my emotions aside to get things done,” I said with conviction that I didn’t feel.

I lifted my hand to knock on Alex’s door but dropped it. Tucking my chin into my chest, I inhaled and exhaled loudly. I was reluctant to face him, but I didn’t have a choice because I needed his help. God, I hated that I needed his help. Swallowing my pride, I lifted my hand but my knuckle just couldn’t touch the door.

“Just get your shit together—” I clamped my mouth shut when the door swung open and my eyes locked with electric blue ones. “Alex…”

“Liv,” he purred. “Were you ever going to knock?”

---