Page 37 of Heartless Pucker in Love

Hot-faced, I gave her a sheepish grin. “I should give a little more context, shouldn’t I?”

Lucy pursed her lips, her eyes gleaming with laughter. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

Groaning, I slapped my palm against my forehead. My sisters were accustomed to me blurting out embarrassing things when I got anxious. I was mostly calm, maybe a little too calm about some things. However, when I got overly anxious, all of that Zen evaporated and I turned into a stuttering mess. That only happened when I was thrown into social situations so that was why I avoided them which meant I didn’t have this problem often. Recently, I realized that it wasn’t just uncomfortable social situations that posed a problem. Julian was a major problem. He made me so nervous that I’d been that mess of social awkwardness more often than not.

“Right. First, let me start over by greeting you like a normal person.” As soon as she’d answered my video call, I’d blurted out that I’d been sexually awakened. What is wrong with me? “Hi, Luce, how are you?”

She threw her head back and laughed, and I couldn’t help giggling along with her. “I’m great. I guess I don't need to ask how you’re doing. Apparently, you’re good because you’ve been sexually awakened.”

“Laugh it up. Take your time. I’ll wait.”

Lucy cackled while I studied my fingernails. Finally, she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “What a way to start the morning,” she said. “Thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome. Now, are you ready to perform your older sister's duty and make me feel better?”

“Totally ready. What’s going on with you?”

Flopping down on a sofa, I sighed. “I slept with Julian last night.”

She lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow. “And you were sexually awakened...?”

I blew out a breath that ruffled the strands of hair hanging over one eye. “You have to understand, all of my sexual experiences before him were very few and excruciatingly lackluster. One or two were downright horrible.”

Lucy’s expression twisted into pure sympathy as she held a hand over her heart and I almost laughed. “You poor thing,” she cooed and I fell into a fit of giggles.

I’d always felt comfortable sharing things with her and Tessa. My two older sisters were more compassionate and understanding than the younger sarcastic Cass, and the overly inquisitive, melodramatic Ruby. “Thank you for your sympathy.” I smirked. “After my night with Julian, I now wish I could go back in time and lose my virginity to him on prom night. It would have been amazeballs.”

Lucy gagged, her eyes wide. “I can’t believe I’m listening to this.” One corner of her mouth lifted into a devious smirk. “But, for the purpose of enhancing this strange but amusing conversation, whom did you lose your virginity to?”

My eyes narrowed at Lucy’s journalistic way of being nosey. What the hell, I might as well share, right? “I lost my skin-tag at twenty-one to Nathan Schmidt. He’s been a mouth breather since elementary school so you can imagine the horrible sound effects.”

She gagged again and struggled to contain her apparent horror. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, me too,” I murmured. I’d stayed away from guys completely after the prom night debacle. Julian had broken my heart even though we were never together in a romantic sense, and I never entertained the thought of dating until Nathan asked me out. I wasn’t really attracted to him since I was hung up on a particular blond hair, blue-eyed Adonis whom I resented yet had a foolish crush on at the same time. I went out with Nathan in a ridiculous attempt to forget about Julian. After a few dates, I decided to sleep with him. My first time was horrible, and I didn’t forget about Julian so it was all for naught.

Lucy ducked her head and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Okay, all jokes aside, you slept with Julian.” She shrugged. “Okay.”

“That’s it? No, how could you do that, you’re his nurse, lecture?”

Lucy sighed. “Honey, you’re miles away from home with a hot as sin star athlete whom you have a history with. It was only a matter of time before you two fell into bed together.”

It was my turn to gawk at the phone screen. “Hot as sin?” I scoffed. “You’re engaged.”

“And I only have eyes for my man, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t acknowledge that Julian is very good-looking. You should go for it, April. Whatever it is.”

I gasped, absolutely scandalized, utterly shocked by the words coming out of my sister’s mouth. “Who are you? Since when are you pro jumping headfirst into...whatever with a man?”

“Since I realized that being in love and putting my trust in someone worthy isn’t a death sentence,” Lucy sighed. “After what I’ve experienced with Nic, the genuine love, respect, and trust, I can’t hold on to the mentality that Mom tried to force on us, April. She was wrong. Taking risks when it comes to love can work out.”

I swallowed hard, feeling that massive wave of anxiety rising again. “Mom wasn’t wrong about everyone. Nic is an anomaly. Maybe he’s the last of his kind in this universe.”

That elicited a roar of laughter from Lucy. Sobering, she rolled her eyes. “Do you hear yourself? You sound crazy.”

“Like Mom?” That possibility was disturbing.

“Oh, honey, no. April, you slept with Julian once, right?”

“Yes.” And the once was enough to have me in an emotional frenzy. Why did it have to be so incredible?

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