I took a deep, shuddering breath. My hand in his felt tiny, but something about it sparked a fire in my belly. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d welcomed someone’s touch.
“Wasn’t the last time,” I said, the words coming quicker now. “Eddie got worse, like a festering wound.”
My other fist clenched as the memories washed over me. “Handprints from being slapped turned to bruises and broken bones thanks to punches. Kisses became bites. All his soft words turned to complete hatred.”
It took a while, but I finally got my story out. I didn’t leave out a single thing as I told him all I’d suffered at the hands of Eddie. And how he’d managed to hide who he truly was until the last three months. Once I’d found out, we were already in Warren, and it was too late to run.
“Damnit,” Hatter growled, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of my hand.
“I learned to count the seconds, to ride out the storm. Wait for the calm.” I smiled bitterly. “Some days, when it was really bad, I’d just go somewhere else. Retreat into a safe place inside my mind, where he couldn’t touch me.”
“Jo…” His grip tightened, and I saw the war in his eyes -- the rage clashing with something softer.
“I finally reached the point where I knew I’d die if I stayed, so I figured it was better to try and escape. First two times, he nearly killed me. But this last time, I actually managed to break free.”
“Fuck, Jo. You’re one tough lady.” Pride laced his words. “You fought back.”
“Damn right.” My chest heaved, heart pounding like a drum. “I’m here, aren’t I? Still standing.”
“Like a warrior,” he said, giving my hand a final squeeze before letting go.
The emptiness hit me hard. Hatter’s gaze was a silent vow -- he’d stand by me through hell itself. And maybe, just maybe, I’d let him. He was different from anyone I’d met before. Hell, all of them were.
“Underland is your fortress now,” he murmured, voice low and fierce. “And I -- I’m not letting anything happen to you.”
Tears betrayed me, coursing down my cheeks. My heart felt heavy with the poison Eddie left there. I’d thought I’d never trust anyone again. Yet here I was.
“I’ve been so scared, Hatter,” I choked out, feeling the words rip from the raw places inside me.
“Let it out, darlin’,” he urged, pulling me closer, his embrace a shield. “You got every right. You cry. Scream. Whatever you need to do.”
The dam broke. Sobs wracked my body. Once I started, it felt like I’d never stop. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried like this. If I’d tried it around Eddie, he’d have beaten me.
“Shh, I got you.” Hatter’s voice soothed me.
“Every day, wondering if it would be my last,” I whispered between sobs. “The scars -- they’re everywhere, Hatter. Not just where you can see them, but some are deep inside, engraved on my heart and in my mind.”
“Fuck him.” He brushed away a tear, leaving a streak of warmth on my cold skin. He doesn’t get to have this power over you anymore. We’ll cover those scars with new memories.” Hatter’s voice turned quiet, but deadly. “I swear on everything I hold dear, Eddie’s going to pay for every bruise, every tear. This I promise you.”
I believed him, not just because of the certainty in his tone, but because of who he was -- a warrior, and a leader. These men put their trust in him, and I was starting to think I could too.
“I’ve been running for so long, Hatter,” I confessed, my throat raw with truth. “Even when I couldn’t physically run away, I would retreat inside my mind. But I’m done being his prey.”
The affirmation felt like the first step on the road back to being myself. There was something cleansing about saying it out loud, letting the words hang between us like a challenge to the fates. I wouldn’t let Eddie have power over me. He’d tormented me for far too long.
“Good. Because from here on out, you’re riding with me. And Underland takes care of its own.”
“With you?” I asked, not quite understanding what he meant.
He ran a hand through his hair. My question seemed to agitate him, but I didn’t know why.
“I know we’re strangers, and I’m not rushing you into anything. Just… give me a chance to prove I’m nothing like Eddie,” he said. “When we ride, you’re on my bike. You don’t ride with anyone else unless I say so.”
Something told me there was more to his words than what was on the surface. But a part of me was too scared to poke and prod. What if his answers only scared me and sent me running? Better to live in ignorance, for now. “So I’m part of Underland?” I asked. Why were they being so welcoming? And did they just let anyone stay here?
“In a sense,” he said. “I told you we would be your family. But if you’re mine, then it changes things a little. Think of it as an upgrade from a cousin who visits on occasion to a… wife. So in that sense, yes, you’re part of the Underland MC family. And we will all die for one another. There’s no safer place for you, Jo. Like I said, I won’t push. You take your time.”
The world seemed to shrink to the space between us. Hatter’s arms came around me, a fortress built of muscle and resolve. I let myself lean into him, his warmth seeping into the cold places inside me.