Page 75 of Pretend Girlfriend

He twisted his face to look at me. “You now have the full, undivided attention of my penis.”

Giggling, I saw Bradyn and Landon walking in our direction. “Be cool. If you do blow our cover, then you’ll never find out what the surprise is.”

“I’ve never been more motivated in my life.” He raised a hand in greeting to the others. “There’s the man of the week. Ready to get your ass whooped in the pool?”

“Ready to watch you get your ass handed to you,” Bradyn replied. “What are we playing?”

Without looking at me, Theo clinked his glass to mine and followed them over to the pool. “Your choice. I’d hate to embarrass you in front of your new wife.”

The three of them procured a water polo ball from somewhere and then jumped into the pool. There was a net stretched across one side of the pool, and the three of them tried playing some version of volleyball for a while, hitting the ball back and forth. Danicka, Marisa, and a few of the other girls sat at a table near the pool to watch and chat. I gave them a friendly wave, but stayed at the bar so I could watch the hockey game.

“I need a partner,” Bradyn complained. “Two on one isn’t fair.”

“Get your better half!” Theo said.

“No thank you!” Marisa called back. “I don’t want to mess up my hair!”

“Mrs. Cozart?” Theo tried next. “I saw you in a bikini today. You’ve been working out. Come show us how it’s done.”

Danicka giggled and said, “Oh Teddy, stop it. I’m having fun just watching.”

I waited for them to invite me next, and was already thinking of an excuse why I couldn’t play. But then Landon said, “Austin! Get in here!”

“I might slow y’all down,” Austin replied. “My feet are blistered like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I’ll take all the help I can get,” Bradyn insisted.

Austin pulled off his shirt, then shimmied out of his jeans. The girls hooted encouragingly. I got an eyeful from my spot by the bar; I watched as he stripped down to his boxers.

“You don’t want to change into a bathing suit?” Bradyn asked.

“I spent the day hiking in the jungle,” Austin replied. “I’m fresh out of fucks to give.”

“Why the hell did you do that?” Bradyn asked.

Austin glanced in my direction. “Still wondering that myself.” Then he jumped into the pool with a big splash.

Their game of water volleyball was a lot more competitive now that it was two-on-two. And it was quite the show. Bradyn wasn’t much to look at, but the other three—Landon, Theo, and Austin—were impressive specimens with their shirts off and covered with water.

I found myself watching them more than the hockey game, even after the Blackhawks scored two goals to tie it up.

“You’d better step it up,” Theo said at one point. “Your wife is watching, dude.”

“I’ve been holding back,” Bradyn replied. “I don’t want you to look bad in front of all the other women at the resort. You’re the only one not getting laid here.”

“Oh damn,” Landon said with a laugh.

Theo glared at him playfully. “I bet you eat Snickers bars upside-down so you can feel the chocolate vein against your tongue.”

The four of them erupted with laughter. Even I giggled to myself at the bar.

“How’d the Blackhawks tie it?” a guy next to me asked. “When I went to dinner, they were down two goals.”

“Bedard took over at the start of the period,” I replied. The guy was in his forties, and had a wedding ring on his finger, so I didn’t feel like he was hitting on me. “We gotta win tonight and send the series back to Chicago.”

“From your lips to the Hockey Gods’ ears.” He gestured at my fresh beer. “What do they have on tap?”

“Red Stripe, and Red Stripe Lite.”

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