Page 38 of Pretend Girlfriend

Then I got a knock on my door.

“Package for Joanna Pullen,” the delivery guy said.

“I wasn’t expecting anything,” I muttered while signing for the package.

“It came from across town. I’m a local courier.” He handed me the package. “Have a nice day.”

Who was sending me something from across town? Danicka had mentioned letting me borrow some of her jewelry for the wedding, but I didn’t think she would pay so much for it to be delivered to me.

It wasn’t jewelry inside the package, though. It was a black and red Chicago Blackhawks jersey carefully wrapped in plastic. I removed the wrapping and held it up: the name on the back said Bedard, with his signature written below it in thick black ink.

And even better than the autograph: there was a smear of blood across the front. It was the game jersey that Theo had gotten from Bedard!

Me: I just received the most amazing thing from a courier!

Theo: I was going to wait until next week, but I decided not to wait. Especially after the blowjob you gave me last night.

Me: I could give you a hundred blowjobs and it wouldn’t come close to repaying you for this!

Theo: :-)

Me: When are you heading to the wedding?

Theo: I’m meeting the other groomsmen at noon.

Me: Perfect. You have three hours to come to my apartment and fuck my brains out.

Theo: What are we going to do with the remaining two hours and fifty-eight minutes?

Me: I know you’re joking, but I don’t care how long you last. I just know I need that dick buried in my pussy, not in my throat.

Theo: This reaction is NOT what I intended when I sent you the jersey.

Me: I’m wetter than a Zamboni machine right now. Get your sexy Teddy Bear ass on the Metra and hurry down here.

Theo: I can get there quicker if I take an Uber.

Me: Good answer. Would you be offended if I make you wear the jersey while we’re doing it?

Theo: You hockey fans really are nuts, LOL.

I started replying with a nuts pun, but then I got a call from Landon’s mom.

“Hey Danicka! Excited about the big day?” I asked.

“Joanna, thank God you picked up,” she said hurriedly. “We need a favor from you.”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“Are you certain? Marisa doesn’t want to impose on you.”

“Of course!” I insisted. What could the favor be? Picking up flowers or other wedding supplies for the wedding? Giving someone else a ride to the ceremony? Maybe Marisa just needed a bottle of tequila to help calm her nerves, although I was sure the country club where they were getting married had that.

There was a scratching noise as Danicka handed the phone over. “Liz has the flu!” Marisa wailed into the phone.

“Oh no!” I hopped up from the couch. The Maid of Honor getting sick was definitely an emergency. “What can I do? Does she need Gatorade? Or some medicine to settle her stomach? I can get whatever you need and bring it.”

Marisa was sobbing too hard to get any other words out, so Danicka took the phone again. “We need you to step up, Joanna.”

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