Page 23 of Pretend Girlfriend

For the first time that night, I couldn’t tell if he was being genuine or not.

8

Joanna

I drove home feeling confused.

I’d had plenty of dates where we had chemistry all night, then it fizzled out when we eventually kissed. But this was the opposite: zero chemistry all night, then a sudden spark when we kissed goodbye. That had never happened to me before. Probably because when I didn’t have chemistry with a guy, the date didn’t end with a kiss.

This was why I had a point system. To keep my stupid body from making bad decisions.

I changed into comfortable clothes when I got home, then texted Landon.

Me: Home safe, honey bunny.

Landon: You can drop the act. The night’s over.

Me: It is over, and I NAILED IT. Your mom loves me. I’ve met my end of the bargain, so now it’s your turn.

Landon: Bullshit. You ruined everything by inviting yourself to the wedding.

Me: I didn’t invite myself! Marisa and your mother invited me. Because they love me so much. On account of how well I did tonight. Your mom and I even gossiped in the bathroom. She hates Marisa’s dress, by the way.

Landon: The entire point of you pretending to be my girlfriend was to keep her from setting me up with people during the wedding and honeymoon. But if you bail on the wedding after promising to go, she’s going to decide you’re not good enough for me.

Me: I’m sorry your mom has unrealistic expectations for her little boy. I did my part, now do yours.

Landon didn’t respond for a while. I washed my face and then sat on the couch to watch hockey playoff highlights. That’s when I got a phone call from my brother.

“How did you fuck it up?” Jack immediately asked.

“I didn’t fuck anything up!” I retorted. “I nailed the assignment. His mother loved me so much she invited me to the wedding next weekend.”

“And you said yes?”

“What else was I supposed to say?”

“No! You should have said no! Landon is pissed at me.”

“You weren’t there. Landon was being a total dick all night. And I still did an amazing job. It’s not my fault he didn’t give me enough information ahead of time.”

Jack groaned. “Joanna…”

“No,” I snapped. “I’m not the fuck-up here. Landon’s wrong. And tell him to respond to my text rather than complaining to you.”

Jack must have done that, because I got a text as soon as I hung up with him.

Landon: You have to come to the wedding now.

Me: Like hell I do!

Landon: It’s the only way to make my mom happy. And it will solidify our story.

Me: That wasn’t part of the deal.

Landon: The deal changed when you invited yourself to a major family event.

I growled to myself and resisted the urge to throw my phone at the wall. This guy was insufferable. Whatever spark I felt during our kiss was now fully extinguished.

---