Page 135 of Pretend Girlfriend

“Oh, by the way,” I said while we waited for the cab. “Your mom knows we’re faking it.”

Landon flinched like he’d been slapped. “Wait, what?”

“She poisoned the Maid of Honor, too. She’s been bribing your next door neighbor. I’ll tell you all about it at dinner.”

56

Joanna

We took a cab to the little seaside town of Falmouth, which was just outside our resort. I was afraid we would stick out as tourists, but nobody looked twice at us as we walked along the street. We came to a relaxed-looking bar and popped inside. Landon ordered two beers at the bar, then brought them over to a private table in the corner with a view of the ocean.

“Okay,” he said. “Tell me all about what my mom has done. Start at the beginning.”

We were on our second round of beers by the time I finished my half of everything. Landon was laughing incredulously. “She’s such a controlling woman. Back in high school, she would call my girlfriend’s parents and coordinate with them to make sure we weren’t sneaking out! I know she does it out of love, but… ugh. I didn’t think she would poison one of her daughter-in-law’s friends. Not to mention pushing you to give a speech at the wedding, and arranging your trip on the honeymoon…”

“I tried to act indignant when she told me, but she reminded me that I’ve been lying to her all week,” I pointed out.

“True.”

The two of us laughed together, truly relaxed for the first time since agreeing to be fake-boyfriend and fake-girlfriend. Without all the pressure of performing in front of everyone, I actually enjoyed Landon’s company. He was a good guy, and after seeing his mom in action, I was finally understanding why he needed a fake girlfriend in the first place.

After finishing our beers, we stumbled upon a shop selling marijuana in all its various forms: buds, blunts, edibles, and THC-infused drinks. We bought some potent brownies, wolfed them down, and then decided to walk back to the resort via the beach.

“Okay, seriously though,” I said. “What are we going to tell your family?”

“What about the truth?” he asked.

“That you bribed me to be your fake girlfriend in exchange for a job at your company, but now it has blown up in our faces and we also kind of like each other?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of embarrassing,” he admitted. “What about claiming we’re in an open relationship? Polyamory is a lot more mainstream these days, and we’ve only been fake-dating two months. We could say we’re not exclusive.”

“I still come out looking like a slut in that scenario,” I pointed out.

“We could tell everyone I have a girlfriend on the side, too. That way it’s both of us, not just you.”

“Maybe,” I admitted. “You’d rather tell them that than the truth?”

“At this point, I’m ready to tell them something and move on.”

“I’m with you,” I replied. “Do you think they’ll buy that story?”

“Who gives a shit? After we leave on Sunday, we won’t have to deal with most of them again.”

I laughed. It was actually kind of freeing that our lie had been exposed. Even if we avoided telling everyone the whole truth, the new story was a lot closer to reality.

“There’s one thing we didn’t discuss.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“You had a threesome with Theo and Austin?”

I winced. “Yeah. Last night. Theo and I were going to hook up, but Austin was there, and he asked if he could watch us have sex.”

Landon frowned at me. “Why would he ask that out of the blue?”

“Because he saw us having sex at the wedding.”

Landon tripped and almost fell. “YOU HAD SEX AT THE WEDDING?”

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