Page 53 of Pretend Girlfriend

“Like is love’s little brother,” Theo explained. “And like all little brothers, it gets overshadowed. But it’s even more important than love. Marisa, now that you’re marrying my best friend, you’re going to need to like him. When Bradyn leaves his dirty dishes on the couch, you aren’t going to love him… but hopefully you’ll still like him. When he’s in a bad mood because the Bears lose to the Packers again, he’s going to need a partner who likes him to cheer him up. During the next pandemic when you’re both rationing toilet paper, you’re going to need to like each other to get through it.”

Theo’s tone became more conversational, like a comic doing crowd work. “Someone smarter than me would probably sum this up by saying you should marry someone who is your best friend. But this is my speech, so I’m going to ride out the metaphor I started with.” He cleared his throat. “So like I said: don’t marry someone you love. Marry someone you like. And based on everything I’ve seen from Marisa and Bradyn, I can tell they’re going to be in like with each other for a very long time. So raise your glasses with me for these two people that we all like so much.”

The crowd roared and cheered for Theo, who held out his hand and then dropped the mic dramatically. After we all toasted, he ran over to the bar where a keg was sitting in a tub of ice, and he grabbed onto the handles like he was going to do a keg stand. Then he stopped and waved it off as a joke. A few people booed, so Theo shouted, “Maybe later!”

But I was thinking about how Theo had looked at me several times during the speech. His words reminded me of what he said at the Metra station last night: “I really like you.” Those words held a lot more meaning now. I felt my heart twisting inside my chest.

“I didn’t know Teddy had it in him,” Landon said.

“He probably found the speech online,” Danicka said. “But he delivered it well.”

“He certainly didn’t write it himself,” Clark agreed.

I shouldn’t have said anything, but their comments pissed me off. “I think he spoke from the heart. His speech felt genuine, not stolen from someone online.”

Everyone at the table frowned at me. Even Landon looked surprised.

“Trust me, dear: Teddy is a good friend of the family,” Danicka said with no small amount of condescension. “I think we know him better than you do.”

“You’re probably right,” I forced myself to say. But in my head I was thinking: you have no idea who Theo is.

“All right everyone,” the DJ said. “Who’s ready to dance?”

23

Joanna

The DJ announced that they were going to play the wedding dance game. This involved every couple going up onto the dance floor and beginning a slow dance. Landon put his hand on my lower back respectfully, and held my other hand out to the side.

“Come on, don’t be shy!” Danicka said. She gave me a healthy shove until I was pressed against Landon’s body. “That’s more like it!”

“Sorry about her,” he whispered.

“Not a big deal,” I replied. Landon actually felt really nice. After a few seconds, I had to remind myself that we were only pretending to be in a relationship.

That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy how he feels, I told myself.

Once everyone was dancing, the DJ came on the mic again: “Okay, everyone who is not married, please leave the dance floor.”

“That was fast,” Landon said with a chuckle.

“Hope it was good for you,” I crooned at him.

A rare grin split his face as we walked back to the table.

“Excluding the bride and groom, everyone who has been married under a year, please leave the dance floor,” the DJ announced. He continued listing off years, five, ten, fifteen, twenty, and the dance floor became progressively emptier. Eventually there was only one other couple dancing besides Bradyn and Marisa: the bride’s grandparents, who had been married forty-seven years.

“How about a round of applause for the winners! May the bride and groom see forty-seven happy years, too.” The DJ switched to a faster party song. “Okay, let’s kick this night off right. All you party animals, get back out here and show us how it’s done!”

Only a few people got up to join the bride and groom. Bradyn was waving his hand, urging some of us to join them, so Landon grabbed my hand. “Those of us in the wedding party had better set an example,” he said.

I wasn’t a great dancer, but I could hold my own. Our example led other guests to follow, and soon the dance floor was crowded with people.

For the next few songs, I forgot all about my agreement with Landon. I was buzzed, I had endorphins flowing from the sex with Theo, and we were surrounded by people celebrating life. Landon and I grinned at each other while we danced, no longer adversaries who were faking it for our own selfish desires.

When the next slow song began, I started to walk away to get another drink. “Oh no you don’t,” Landon said, pulling me toward him. “One more slow song to really sell the whole thing.”

“I can do that.” This time, we didn’t need Danicka’s urging. Our bodies came together naturally, Landon folding his arms around me and holding me close.

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