Page 120 of Pretend Girlfriend

Austin chuckled. “Let me get this straight. We just fingered your ass, and then I stuck my dick in there and filled it full of come. But talking about it is what feels naughty?”

“It’s different, like, in the moment!” she protested.

Austin rolled over so that he was spooning her. “Yeah, all right. I guess I can understand that.”

She let out a happy shiver. “I really like being the meat in this Joanna sandwich.”

“Pretty sure we are the meat,” I said.

Austin rumbled with laughter.

“So, when are we doing it again?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Not tonight,” Joanna said. “I’m a little sore and need time to recover.”

“Understandable,” Austin said.

“So… in half an hour, then?” I asked.

She playfully shoved me.

“That would give us time to order room service,” I said.

Joanna abruptly sat upright in bed. “You now have my complete attention. I’m starving.”

“There’s a joke here about having all your holes filled,” Austin said.

I groaned. “I was trying to think of a joke like that. You beat me to it.”

Joanna sat cross-legged on the bed. “I want ice cream. And mozzarella sticks.”

“Okay.”

Austin frowned. “You’re not, uh, going to dip the mozzarella sticks into the ice cream, are you?”

“Right,” she said sarcastically. “Because that’s the craziest thing that would happen in this room tonight.”

“But seriously,” I insisted. “We’re going to do this again before the trip is over. Right?”

Both of them looked at each other, grinned, then looked back at me.

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” Joanna said.

50

Joanna

Theo was afraid the other guys might come back for more weed, so the three of us got dressed before ordering room service. Then we lit up another joint while waiting. I had to admit: marijuana was a nice alternative to alcohol. I wasn’t going to make a habit of it when we got back to Chicago, but while we were here? It was doing a great job of helping me forget about my problems.

The waiter who delivered the food made a joke about us having the munchies, which of course sent us into a new fit of giggles.

Theo turned on the TV and found a channel playing A Muppet Christmas, which was a ridiculous thing to be showing in May, so of course we decided to watch it while chowing down on our food. I dipped a mozzarella stick into my ice cream just to tease Austin, but to my surprise it was actually delicious.

We even told Austin the full story about how Theo and I had come to meet. He thought that was hilarious. “A dentist? No kidding?”

“For the Blackhawks!” I exclaimed.

Once I was in a food coma, I found myself crashing hard. Theo offered to make sure I got back to my room safely, but I told him I would be all right.

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