Page 1 of Pretend Girlfriend

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Joanna

“You want me to do what?” I snapped.

The customers at the surrounding tables glanced over at my outburst for a moment, then returned to their meals. Jack, my brother, spread his hands.

“It’s just for one night.”

“What happened to hooking me up with someone real?” I asked. “That was the last promise you made to me. At Christmas.”

“I’m still working on it,” Jack replied. “But in the meantime, you should do this. Pretend to be Landon’s girlfriend for a night. Two hours tops.”

“I have a date tonight. An actual date.”

“Is he hot?” Jack asked.

“There’s more to a person than their appearance, you know.”

Jack snickered. “That’s a no.”

“He’s somewhat handsome,” I said. In truth, my Bumble date tonight was just okay looking. Not ugly, but only average. A five, maybe six out of ten.

“Are you going to sleep with him?” Jack asked. “Or do you still have that stupid point system?”

“My point system is foolproof,” I said. “It has never steered me wrong before.”

Jack snorted. “Only if we ignore Mateo. And Shaun. Oh! And that guy you brought home for Christmas two years ago, the one with the mullet.”

“Chris didn’t have a mullet! His hair was just… longer in the back.”

“There’s a name for that kind of hair, Joanna. A mullet.”

I was indeed still using my point system. Every time a date showed a positive trait, I awarded him a certain number of points—the greater the trait, the more points. If they collected ten points during the evening, I would consider sleeping with them. It was a way for me to logically evaluate a potential sexual partner without letting my in-the-moment emotions control me, and I still relied on it every time.

“No, I’m not using that dumb system,” I lied. “And my date will be here in five minutes.”

“Then you should skip to the part where you agree to this.”

“Why would I do this for a complete stranger?”

“Because,” Jack said with a sly smile, “Landon works at DefTec.”

Yeah, okay. That was a reason to pay attention. Defense Technologies, or DefTec for short, was a huge defense contractor based here in Chicago. I’d been trying to get a job there for months. So far, I’d been turned down for every position I applied for.

“What does Landon do at DefTec?”

“He’s a member of the in-house counsel.”

I sat up a little straighter. “Little brother, you now have my full, undivided attention.”

“I knew you’d come around.” Jack flashed a smile. “Tell me I’m amazing.”

“No.”

“Do it. Or I won’t give you his info.”

Just then, my phone vibrated on the table with a text message.

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