Page 77 of Born To Be Bad

Comprehension dawns on his face. He tips his head back. “Ah. Now that makes sense.”

I scramble to gather my thoughts. “I know your family already donates money to a lot of different causes.”

“Hm,” he says. “Mostly to cover up bad PR. It’s nothing more than a mitigation tool. Don’t read too much into it. It’s not like we’re the good guys.”

“But we can be the good guys,” I reply. “Imagine. Imagine being a force for good.”

Alistair can’t hold my gaze. He looks away, his eyes resting on the moonlit water surrounding us.

“For a while,” he says, “I thought so. Now I wonder if we were just born to be bad.”

I try to get him to look at me by grabbing his knee. “It’s not too late. We can still do it.”

He shakes his head. “Not anymore. There’s no space for weakness now.”

“Alistair! Being good is not being weak.”

He huffs and pulls his lips in a way I don’t like. I assume it means he thinks I am naïve. Usually, I’d be annoyed, but it feels like our very souls are fused now, so there is no annoyance, only love.

“Let me start up the foundation,” I say. “I have so many ideas. I have the drive. I won’t need much in the beginning. We’ll start small and simple. Then, if you’re happy with my work, we’ll expand.”

“I’ll need to get the go-ahead from my family,” he replies, finally looking at me. “But I don’t see how that will be a problem. My mother is starry-eyed over you since you saved Ariana’s life. She’ll support you. She’ll give you anything you ask for. You’re possibly her favorite human in the world right now.”

“And you?” I ask.

“You’re also my favorite human in the world right now.”

“No, I mean, will you support me in starting the foundation?”

Alistair locks eyes with me, and I get lost in them. “I’ll support you in anything. You know that. I’m your biggest fan.” He touches my cheek. “I’ll do whatever you need me to.”

A different kind of excitement rips through me. A nervous, wholesome, exhilarated energy that comes with being granted the power to make a difference in the world. To ease suffering, to heal the planet, to use money for the greater good.

“Thank you,” I say, feeling tearful again. “Thank you for believing in me.”

“Anyone who doesn’t believe in you is an idiot,” he says. “You’re going to be fucking amazing.”

Hot drinks finished, we move to the railing to watch the black sea below. It’s romantic, especially with the stars showing off and the fairy lights and fresh flowers on the deck. Alistair wraps me in his arms again, and we kiss.

“I love you so much,” I tell him. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

He breathes me in, running his fingers through my hair and adjusting the tiara which I had completely forgotten about.

“It’s not just love, either,” I say. “You’ve made me feel different about myself. No, not different about myself … you make me feel more myself. It’s like I was playing small my whole life and you’ve made me feel more … everything. More powerful.”

“Money has a way of doing that.”

“The money is a huge part of it. But it’s more than that. It’s feminine energy. Sexual energy that I’ve never had before. You allow me to embrace my desire in a way that gives me agency. I feel like I have a place in the world.”

“You’ve always had a place in the world,” he says.

“It never felt like it.”

“Now you’ve embraced your dark side,” Alistair jokes.

“You may bring out my dark side,” I say, enjoying feeling the firmness of his body. “But I was never my authentic self while I was hiding it away. You make me feel like I can be completely myself—the good and bad parts—and you’ll still want me.”

“I’ll always want you, Ivy.”

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