Page 52 of Blinded By Hate

I always knew that Junior’s eyes looked familiar and now I know why. His father has the same intense gaze as him but it’s completely different.

Junior looks up at me with adoration and love while his father looks down at me like he wants me for himself and never wants the world to look at me.

Hayden looks at me like every girl wishes to be looked at.

“Thank you,” I mutter and he just nods his head and closes the trunk.

Hayden opens the door for me and I get in. He gets in afterwards and starts the car.

“What's wrong?” Hayden asks as he drives off.

“Nothing,” I mutter and look out the window.

The car stops in the middle of the street and I feel Hayden’s hand grip my chin forcing me to look at him. “When I’m talking to you I want you to look at me. Understand?” I glare at him and take my face out of his hand. When I don’t answer him he grips the steering wheel. “Do you understand, Jaclyn?”

“Yea, whatever,” I say, rolling my eyes at him.

Hayden’s jaw clenches. “Why are you mad?”

“I’m not.”

“Really? I think you keep forgetting that I know you, even after five years. I know when you’re lying, when you’re low, when you’re sad, mad, tired, or when you need help with something. I even know when you’re about to fucking orgasm. I know it all, princess.”

My jaw drops and I look at him with wide eyes. “You can’t just say things like that, Hayden.”

Hayden rolls his eyes.

God we’re all just rolling our eyes a bunch today, aren’t we?

“Why not? It’s true.”

“Because you have a damn fiancé!” I argue.

“Will you stop assuming shit like that? You have no fucking clue.” Hayden chuckles lightly but he for sure doesn’t think I’m funny.

Hayden parks the car in front of the hotel after the rest of the drive being silent.

“I hate you so much,” I mutter, as I get out of the car and grab my bag.

“What’d you just say?” Hayden asks but I ignore him and close the door. I hear another door open and close making me assume that Hayden got out of the car. I feel his hand grip my wrist and turn me around to make me look at him. “Why? Why do you keep lying?” Hayden holds my face in his hand and his face is just a few inches away from mine. “Why do you keep telling me lies from these pretty little lips that were once mine?”

I look up at him and try not to cry because every time I try to hate him I always feel so frustrated because it’s hard to hate Hayden after everything.

Especially after the last thing he told me that night.

“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here. I’ll be waiting for you,” he mumbles before letting go of me and leaving without looking back.

“Because you were the one person who I truly felt loved by. I can’t help but feel horrible for missing these moments and wishing everything could go back to normal when we both know they can’t. And the fact that I have to be here and watch you get married hurts, Hayden. It hurts, right here,” I say, while pressing a finger to where my heart is. “I know I told you we needed to go our separate ways but I just wish it was easier to do that. I sometimes wish I didn’t meet you so that I didn’t have to know what love felt like.” Hayden’s face softens as he looks down with sympathy. “You are the one who truly cared enough to love me enough to go to the extreme for me and now I have to live with the fact that you are marrying someone else after you made love to me and cared for me the way no one else has.”

In reality I don’t hate him.

I can never hate Hayden. I just hate the fact that I ruined everything.

I walk away from Hayden and his hand disappears from my cheek.

Twenty-One

Jaclyn