Page 5 of Blinded By Hate

“Sounds like a crazy dream, bud,” Brandon says with a mouth full of eggs.

“See, mama! Brandon agrees.”

I can’t stop smiling at my son because he is the only thing in this world that makes me happy now. He makes me smile in so many ways.

Yes, kids are a lot of work and there are times when he pisses me off, but I love him.

I can’t even describe the type of love I have for Junior.

Every time I look at him, I can’t help but smile.

“Well, we need to get you ready for school. We can’t have Ms. Johnson mad at me again for you being late.” Junior is in preschool. He started this year and he loves it. He is a very friendly kid, Ms. Johnson says. He talks to everyone in class and it makes me happy that he’s so good with the other kids. “Did you take your medicine already?”

He nods his head. “Yup, and I ate breakfast too! I got eggs and bagels.”

I laugh because of the little lisp he has when saying his ‘s’s. It always puts a smile on my face.

“Great.” I kiss his cheek twice and take him off my lap. “I’ll be there in a little to pick out your outfit, okay.”

Junior runs to his room and I’m about to follow but Brandon puts his hand on my shoulder making me look up at him. Brandon looks down at my food that I barely touched.

Oh right.

“You eat that and I’ll get him ready. Don’t forget to take your shot either.” I nod my head even though I feel like doing anything but eating. Brandon gets up and takes his plate, putting it in the dishwasher after rinsing it. “I better see that plate empty when I come back.”

I force a smile at Brandon. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you.”

Two

Jaclyn

Present

“How did therapy go the other day?” Brandon asks me as we walk into the office together.

Not only is Brandon my neighbor, a big coincidence is that he also just happens to work at the company that I work at. We see each other almost every single day.

Whenever he gets off work early he always helps me out by picking Junior up from daycare and then hanging out at the apartment until I come home. I sometimes get home late from work because Jules always has me working on new assignments everyday and she expects them done, on her desk the next morning.

Sometimes she’ll give me a good week or two, depending on what the assignment is.

“It went well. She upped my medication for the nightmares.”

“I don’t want you getting used to those.” Brandon gives me a scolding look.

“I’m not,” I say, but I know that if someone were to take these pills from me I’d definitely make a fit about it. “They just help me.”

“Have you ever taken antidepressants before? They can be addictive.”

“I took them once when I was younger but I stopped because they weren’t doing anything for me and I found other ways to make myself feel better.”

I never told Patience about how I would use antidepressants in high school when I hated myself back them.

“Why can’t you find ways to make yourself better now?” Brandon raises an eyebrow at me, making me feel like I’m getting lectured like a toddler.

I shrug. “They just help me, Brandon. It’s not that serious,” I say before walking away from him and going in the direction of my office.

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