Page 62 of Blinded By Love

But I’m in no position to ask him about her.

“Just came to get some food with Hayden. He just got back.” At the mention of Hayden I feel butterflies in my stomach but I don’t look at him. Kayden looks at Lucas before looking at me and he gives me a small smile. “Well, I’ll let you be. Enjoy your guys' night,” Kayden says before walking past the table and going to Hayden who is staring at me.

His face has new scratches and he’s sporting an angry bruise on his cheek. I feel the need to help him but the memories from the last time I helped him come to mind and my mood turns sour.

“I didn’t know that you knew Kayden,” Lucas says, making me focus back on him.

“Yea, he is friends with Natalia who I’m friends with.”

“So you know Hayden then?”

My eyes go to Hayden who is still staring at me. It’s hard not to get trapped in his gaze.

I look back at Lucas. “Barely.”

Eventually our waitress comes back and takes our order. She smiles when she messes up but I tell her she’s fine.

She started when I came back from break and since Andy was out of town, I trained her.

When she leaves, my eyes can’t help but go to Hayden again. He’s talking to Kayden, his face stone cold straight. He looks so serious and the way his jaw clenches makes me want to run my finger along his jawline to make him stop tensing.

I hate how I feel. I hate that I keep thinking these things about Hayden.

Hayden licks his lip and memories from the night he kissed me come to my mind again. The way he touched my thighs and licked my lips like they were his to own.

My stomach gets tingly and when Hayden looks at me I press my thighs together. How can a simple look from him bug me this much?

“Everything okay?” Lucas asks, making me look at him.

I feel shitty for basically admiring Hayden when I’m hanging out with Lucas who has been nothing but kind to me.

I force a smile on my face and nod. “Yea. I need to use the restroom really quick.” I stand up from the table and grab my bag. I’m not running away. I really do need to use the restroom so that I can do my shot before eating. “I swear I’m not leaving by the way.”

Lucas laughs. “I didn’t think you were. You don’t seem like that.”

I smile at him before leaving him alone at the booth. I rush to the bathroom, forcing myself not to look at Hayden.

Once I get into the bathroom I lock the door and press my back against it, closing my eyes.

I don’t know why I feel so anxious all of a sudden.

I look down at my phone and see my blood sugar is fine.

I’m not low, I just feel so high on the way Hayden makes me feel from just staring at me from across the room.

I’ve always been obsessive with my feelings towards any guy I like but with Hayden, it's different. I don’t know what it is.

I go to the sink and pull out my diabetes bag. After I put the needle on the pen I poke myself on my thigh since I’m wearing a skirt.

I used to do them on my stomach but because of that, my lower stomach formed sort of a lump that is filled with fat that was caused by how many times I poked myself there. I’m insecure of it now and never poke myself there because I don’t want my lower stomach to get bigger.

I know it’s not flat like my upper stomach and I used to always punch my lower stomach trying to force the fat formed from the insulin away but obviously that didn’t work and I just ended up crying.

I don’t like to think of things I’ve done because of how much I hate my diabetes and myself. But I’m different now. Things are a little better than they were before and it’s only going to get better.

That’s what I keep reminding myself whenever I think of those things.

Banging on the door makes me lift my head towards the door. “Occupied!” I yell as I put my insulin away and throw the needle cap in my bag. Banging on the door continues and I roll my eyes. I go to the door and open it only to be pushed back inside. Hayden’s hand grabs my waist and he closes the door behind him, locking it. “Hayden,” I say, not knowing what else to do at this moment.

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