Page 56 of Blinded By Love

Chris and Hayden are sober tonight like they always are. I know that Chris can’t drink because of football but Hayden said he just doesn’t drink much. I’ve seen him drink a few times but that’s it. He never gets drunk, only one drink to probably keep his mind at ease.

Thinking of Hayden makes me look at him walking behind me with Chris. Him and Chris are talking while looking around the club. Natalia is by my side with her arm hooked around mine. She is telling me about last New Years and how she spent it with Chris.

Things with Hayden have been different.

Being in Utah with him, he seems a lot nicer than usual which is unexpected and shocking but I like it.

He keeps staring at me across the room and sometimes when he would sit next to me at the table or the couch he would graze his finger on my hand or thigh lightly. They are soft and light touches but they make such a huge impact.

I haven’t taken off the necklace he gave me and whenever I’m standing in front of him he looks down at the necklace making his eyes fill with heat before looking at my lips and then my eyes. Him looking at me like that always sends chills down my spine and butterflies to my stomach.

I never know how to handle the way he makes me feel on the inside. It’s weird feeling all excited and tingling and I can’t help but love it.

He’s different from all the other guys I would be attracted to or like. In Hayden’s own way, he’s special.

He has this dark and mysterious aura that makes you want to know more about him.

“Jaclyn and I are going to dance. Wanna come?” Natalia turns around to look at them.

Hayden’s eyes go to mine before looking at Chris. “Go. I’m going to go to the bathroom really quick,” he says before looking at me once more and leaving to the direction of the bathroom.

Chris grabs Natalia’s hand and they go to the dance floor. I follow them, trying not to feel like a third wheel.

I wish that either Kayden or Max were here to dance and hangout with me. I feel awkward asking Hayden to dance because things between us just feel weird in general. I don’t know where we stand with one another.

Natalia wraps her arms around Chris and she dances with him while I close my eyes and try to block out the world. I dance to some song by The Weeknd they are playing.

Too many people are yelling and laughing, there is so much background noise.

This is why I want to drink whenever I go to clubs or parties because I’m too in my head. I can never just stop overthinking and have fun. My mind always has to ruin it.

My thoughts take over my mind often. It’s a never ending cycle with my mind and me. It feels like a burn in my head that never stops. It goes on and on until eventually I get worn out and need a break.

“You can try to block out the world but never me.” I hear his voice in my ear as his big, warm hands slide around my waist, pulling me into his hard chest. I rest my head on his chest and his lips trail down my neck, sending chills down my spine and a tingling sensation between my legs. “I’m always going to be here princess,” Hayden whispers as he finally presses his soft lips on my skin.

This is the first time a guy or anyone for that matter has touched me like this, put their lips on me like this and whispered to me the way Hayden is.

The cold air against my skin with his lips on me feel cold, sending shivers down my spine and make goosebumps rise on my body.

Everything eventually blocks out, except for Hayden touching me with the music in the background.

Hayden turns me around and I open my eyes, staring at him through my half lidded eyes. “I thought you weren’t going to dance?”

Hayden smirks, looking down at my lips. “Well I just can’t seem to leave you alone.”

Hayden and I stand in the middle of the room, staring at one another for what seems like eternity. The way he stares at me is so intense I try not to blush or look away because whatever is happening, I want it to happen.

Damn my mind.

It doesn’t know what to do.

“You’re so confusing Hayden,” I mutter.

“And you’re goddamn maddening,” Hayden says before he pulls me in closer by the waist and covers my mouth with his.

Kisses with boys have never felt like this.

I remember my first time kissing a boy and I hated it. It was weird.

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