Page 38 of Blinded By Love

I grab the notecard near it on the table.

Here’s my number. Fucking use it.

Eighteen

Jaclyn

“You have all your stuff? I got the discharge papers,” my mom says while walking inside the room.

It’s been about four days since I woke up. Natalia visited me as well as the other boys. Hayden hasn’t come by but his flowers were by my bedside the entire time I was in this room.

I haven’t added his number to my phone and I won’t do it. I don’t feel like listening to him and doing what he says. He doesn’t get to be rude to me and then boss me around, acting like he cares the next minute.

Since I have been in the hospital, I haven’t had to do any school work which is nice. The professors in most of my classes said I’m excused for this week’s assignments because I wasn’t in class and couldn’t get to a laptop in my state.

“Yup. Got everything,” I say, closing the hospital bag that they gave me.

My mom and I haven’t talked much since I have been in the hospital. She’s been ignoring me when I try to talk to her but I would notice in the middle of the night, she would watch me sleep and put water by my bedside.

I know she cares about me, but me and her just have a lot of issues. I always tried apologizing in the past for whatever argument we had, even though some of the fights were her fault. My mom just has this weird power over me that I never understood.

She makes me scared to make her mad. Even when I told her I was moving out I was terrified to tell her because even in some of my best successes she would find a way to be mad.

I hate seeing her mad at me.

Another example is me getting in my first car crash last year. Right after I crashed, the first thing I thought of was my mom and how pissed off she was going to be when she found out that I ran a red.

It was an accident, I didn’t see if the light was red or green because the sun was directly in my eyes. I ended up crashing into the car turning on to the other street.

Luckily no one was seriously injured but from the looks of the crash, it looked like someone got hurt.

“You know I love you right?” my mom says, making me look directly at her. I nod my head lightly. “It’s just you make me so mad sometimes and I don’t know what to do, Jaclyn. When you do stupid shit like this, it makes me scared and mad.”

“I know but you yelling at me and lecturing me doesn’t make it any better for me. And you saying that I am going back to California with you, makes me more pissed off and that will just create an even bigger fight.”

“I don’t like fighting with you.”

“Me neither.” I laugh lightly which makes her laugh too. “So are we good?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Yea, we’re good. For now at least until something else comes up,” she jokes. I shake my head lightly at her and grab my bag from the bed. I also get the flowers from the side table. “We never did talk about the guy who brought you in.”

The butterflies that I keep trying to get rid of, appear again. I want to punch my stomach and beg them to go away because I know what those butterflies mean and I can’t stand them.

“He is just my friend's brother.”

“Then why did he say he was your boyfriend?” My mom raises her eyebrow at me, opening the door for me to walk through.

“Maybe so he could stay with me. I don’t know. Most of the time we see each other, it starts and ends with us at each other’s throats. He doesn’t like me, I don't like him.”

“Why doesn’t he like you?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I’m still trying to figure that out.”

It started with a petty argument between two teenagers and then it escalated into something bigger than it needed to be.

I’m pretty sure that Hayden is bipolar but he was never diagnosed with it. Because his mood swings with me are out of control.

Some of the questions I asked him about pain also gave me the idea that maybe he is arguing with me because he needs to distract his mind.

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