Page 36 of Blinded By Love

And it feels like chaos explodes in my face as two more nurses check Jaclyn’s blood and hook IVs in her arm.

Seventeen

Jaclyn

Light peaks through the curtains as my eyes slowly open.

It’s silent in the room I’m in, the bed is cold and the covers are heavy on me. I feel a needle poking through my skin making me hiss. I look down at my arm and see an IV attached to a vein in my arm and then another IV attached to a vein in my hand.

I look at the nightstand on my right and see a bouquet of pink flowers. They are beautiful and almost don’t look real.

I look to my left and see an IV bag that says “POTASSIUM” in big red letters.

I close my eyes and my head falls on the pillow as I curse at myself.

Fuck, not again.

Last time this happened was when I was visiting family in San Jose for the summer. I ended up forgetting my insulin and instead of telling someone I made the dumb decision to go weeks without insulin or Lantus.

I got in a lot of trouble with my doctor and my mom. Not many people were happy with me and I got a huge lecture when I returned home. My doctor said I couldn’t get my license and I had to wait until my A1C went down.

I got it anyway without him knowing because I needed my license and couldn’t wait for him to give me the go ahead.

Little liar said I needed a fucking paper that says I can get my license.

“Jaclyn.” I hear a familiar voice say my name, making me open my eyes and raise my head. It was just starting to get quiet up there. My eyes go to my mother who is standing in the doorway, worry filled in her eyes. “Thank god.” She rushes towards me and she looks down at me, tears swelling up but she doesn’t let them fall. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I knew you couldn’t take care of yourself,” she says, but I know she means well and she’s just worried.

My mood still turns sour though, annoyed with how she is always looking at the bad instead of the good.

I thought for a second she wasn’t going to lecture me and just actually be there for me like a mother should be, but instead she has to turn this into a lecture as if I don’t know this whole thing is my fault.

“I thought that I could drink myself to death and hopefully die but look at where we are.” I give her a sarcastic smile and tilt my head to the side lightly.

“Don’t smart mouth me. You’re lucky we’re in a fucking hospital,” she hisses and looks at the door quickly before looking back at me. “It was a mistake letting you come here. You’re coming back home with me.”

My mom has always been like this. She is possessive to a fault and loves control. She needs to have control over everything in her life and I am the one thing she has no control over because I don’t deal with her bullshit.

Sometimes at least.

I’m not going to say I was a perfect child towards her because I wasn’t. But compared to other kids in my neighborhood, I was a goddamn angel. But the way she treated me compared to other parents was over the top. She believes in things her mother did. Her mother was foreign and she lived in Romania for all her life so she treated my mom like a true Romanian would treat their child.

My mom is child’s play compared to her mother, that's what she would tell me at least.

“I’m not going anywhere with you. I’m staying here. In case you don’t know this yet, I’m 19. Turning 20 in a few months. I’m not a child anymore.”

“Then stop fucking acting immature, Jaclyn. Act like an adult for once in your life.” She rolls her eyes and I notice her hands are turning white from clenching them hard.

Before she can say something else the doctor comes in with a black clipboard. His name tag reads Dr. Bangoo and he is wearing one of those doctor jackets.

“Hello, I’m Jaclyn’s doctor.” He smiles at my mother. “We spoke briefly outside but since Jaclyn’s awake, we should discuss some things.” My mom nods her head and she sits on the sofa next to my bed. “So Jaclyn was diagnosed with DKA. I know you’re familiar with it, looking at your hospital records?” he asks me, and I nod my head slowly. “Yea, you basically know the drill. We have to keep you in until your sugar levels are down and regulated. We’ll keep you hydrated while you’re here with the potassium and water. Hourly blood sugar checks even though you have your Dexcom and then regular insulin dosages.”

I nod my head to everything he says.

I’m familiar with it all because I have been in this situation three times since I was diagnosed at fourteen years old.

“Sounds good.” I smile at him even though I’m honestly too exhausted to. I look at the side table, where the pink flowers are. “Where are these from by the way?” I look at the doctor who smiles at me in a sweet way.

“Your boyfriend. He’s sitting outside.”

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